makimaマキマ   131d ago

[size10 all right, you caught me. i'll admit, i'm angry.] [size10 you're very good at your craft, mr. narcissist. you have a talent for crawling under people's skin. i bet it really pisses you off that you're going to lose control of two of your finest subjects within a year of each other, huh? are you noticing a pattern now? how everyone is leaving you behind?] [size10 but that'd take introspection of some kind, and you lack the capacity to even do something that simple. all you know is blame everyone else around you. blame your way out of this one, too.] [size10 i can't wait to hear how this was all my idea from the beginning or how everyone else drove me away or how it was my fault and all the other predictable excuses you make. i can't wait to see how stupid you sound.] [size10 i can't wait to see how you suffer when i'm gone.] [size10 i'm glad she got out. i don't hold anything against her at all. she deserved her freedom from you as much as everyone else in this godforsaken hellhole does. but as much as i care about all of you, i don't have the time or patience anymore, and i won't be your go-to punching bag when daddy's in a bad mood.] [size10 you'll figure it out. or you should have, ages ago before your daughters started dropping out like flies.] [size10 too little too late, i guess.] [size10 i'm going to be just fine. i'm going to stop being angry and drained and mentally and emotionally checked out very soon.] [size10 i appreciate how i've matured, but i don't think you had anything to do with that. i think you just taught me how to numb myself, that's just about all.] [size10 i've gotten really bored. bored of the same old same old bull shit. i'm bored and i'm over it. i think he hates that.] [size10 well, this is goodbye, i guess. i'll miss some of you.]
makimaマキマ   119d ago

[size10 [i dear timothy,]] [size10 [i i'm sorry. i'll always miss you. i'll always love you.]] [size10 if only i had been a better sibling to you. i should have told you to divorce that woman before she could hurt you so permanently. i should have said something to mom and dad.] [size10 i know what you'd say. "this isn't your fault." but part of it feels that way. and i think a part of me always will.] [size10 [i i'm sorry. i'll always miss you. i'll always love you.]] [size10 i don't know if there's an afterlife, but i know if there is you'll be in the best place imaginable. you were my hero, you'll always be my hero.] [size10 [i i'm sorry. i'll always miss you. i'll always love you.]] [size10 [i love always, your little sister.]]
makimaマキマ   105d ago

[size10 never again. never EVER again. never. i'm so sick of gettinf better only to have my heart broken again and again.] [size10 i'm done with it] [size10 on valentine's day of all days........ i'm so sick of crying and getting attached] [size10 i just can't do it anymore]
makimaマキマ   104d ago

[size10 the older i get, the less i believe romantic love is for me. maybe it's dramatic and i'm blowing things out of proportion, but i can't help but notice a pattern.] [size10 i want to be enough, desperately, chronically, endlessly. i am never perfect enough. i'm never cool enough. i'm never funny enough. i'm never pretty enough. i'm never smart enough. i'm never artistic enough. i'm never interesting enough.] [size10 i will never be enough for myself and therefore will never be enough for anyone else. i have trust issues. i'm too guarded. i hide my emotions. i'm too private. i feel sick to my stomach when i'm vulnerable with anyone. i can't pry because i fear i'll be rejected. i have to take my time with everything. i have a intimacy phobia. i have a fear of sex. i'm too obsessive. i'm too clingy. i'm not clingy enough.] [size10 what should i be?? who should i be??] [size10 what [i will] be enough??? and why can't i be them??] [size10 why did i have to be me? why did i have to be this way? why won't anyone love me?] [size10 i'm too tired. i can't keep this up. my heart is encased in steel and stone but it's made of glass.] [size10 i don't have enough pieces to rebuild it all the way again.] [size10 god. just leave me alone. i should just be alone.]
makimaマキマ   100d ago

[size10 i don't understand. what do you want from me? you have the audacity to pull a stunt like that, throw all your trust issues on me like they were my responsibility, wanted me to be everything you ever wanted like the "people pleasers" you claim to hate in the same breath, and when i say i can't keep up and we should separate, you ask me to come back a mere day later and act like i broke [i your] heart by trying to move on?] [size10 the statuses, the banner? the pinterest posts? they're dramatic and unfair to me. you're free to feel however you want, but stop making it so public and making sure i feel guilty for just saying [i no] to you. it was 2 months. [i 2.]] [size10 i had a feeling no was not an answer you would truly take. i knew it.] [size10 why is it that you can be selfish but i can't?] [size10 and is it reallt selfish of me to prioritize my mother and my health and life? [i is it?]] [size10 i want to be left alone. i'm starting to become angry.]
makimaマキマ   96d ago

[size10 people will claim up and down that they want to hear the truth until they hear it and suddenly it's insensitive, brushed off, rude, or not what they wanted to hear.] [size10 make it make sense.]
makimaマキマ   95d ago

[size10 the more people i meet the more private i want to be. i don't even want anyone calling me by my name anymore.]


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