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-Rabbit.Wolf.   276d ago

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-Rabbit.Wolf.   276d ago


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-Rabbit.Rabbit.   269d ago

[center I wonder why I am always brought to my journal when the most loving of thoughts hit me. I can never say them out loud, but boy do they like to swim pleasantly in my head. Maybe it is the thought of stepping outside and looking into another persons home and hearing their thoughts, feelings, and of course frustrations. Yet I am seeing them continue to work on their relationship which even though I am doubtful... It is a beautiful thing.

For me it lingers in my mind and I see all the things that I myself struggle with. Frustration, thoughts, and feelings. I have been going through something that I don't quite understand. It makes me moody and awful to be around. I would prefer snapping instead of talking. I get a lot more defensive and I just cry all the time.

I don't understand what I am going through or why I'm going through it, but I do know that one thing remains the same and that is my love for you. It still remains and burns strong.

I worry over people who come and go in your life. The exs and the friends, but it is all passing. I get over it. As I should. It may take time, but the feelings usually return to normal. I don't know why this time right now is worse, but it is.

I won't stop friendships though because you haven't stopped mine. I hope that they flourish as they should. Someday my mind will only remember them as your friends. Hopefully whatever I am going through will stop and I'll get better. I really hope it is soon.

I am trying the best that I can. I am sorry that I ended up acting that way. Angry and hard to calm down. Childish and selfish. I am feeling better today, but that mood is... I don't know... I can still feel it there... This ever looming anger and irritation. It doesn't belong anywhere... It is just there. Festering over nothing.

I don't understand and I hate it.

I love you so much. You are a good person. Sweet and kind to me. Everything I look for in a person.

I am not going anywhere. I am happy right where I am now even when I'm in a bad mood.
-Rabbit.Rabbit.   267d ago

[center Kiyoteru. Name of a specefic vocaloid.]
-Rabbit.Rabbit.   263d ago

Tauriel Color #0dd9a3

Ambrose Color #fa337d

Adrastos Color #c86904
-Rabbit.Rabbit.   258d ago

[center Dragon hunters?]

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-Rabbit.Rabbit.   256d ago

[center I’m so sick of being asked for money…. sure seems like everyone’s doing it…

But I’ll agree to it… Because that’s how I am…

If I agree to this though…. then I’m not doing the hotel trip. I refuse to be behind on money again.]
-Rabbit.Rabbit.   253d ago

[center Rime - #27e5fc
Ivy - #27fc44
Koi - #79fcf7]
ShieldHero-     245d ago

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[center Ciel Lovell]

[center Psuedodragon]
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ShieldHero-     242d ago

Vivian GP: 6 (Mobile Feat)
Xior: 13GP
ShieldHero-     231d ago

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-Rabbit.Him&I.   228d ago

[center So it’s been a long time since we met now hasn’t it? I wasn’t around for all the others that owned your heart. Though we role played a few times in the past I had locked myself away even when it came to making friends. I officially met and spoke with you in April three years ago. That is when we first started to be come friends. It was lot of just talking about our lives and our likes and dislikes. Nothing too personal, but enough to at least figure one another out a bit. It was subtle when you first started flirting.

I was guarded but behind a screen it was easy to flirt back without worrying. I figured you would be gone soon enough. That’s just how it goes. No one stays interested that long and you had told me that you were flirty and not to think we would become anything. I took that extremely serious. If there was nothing in it for me then I would remain guarded. Not every heart can handle that though and I felt like I was standing in the background. There was someone else you were getting over and you had admitted feelings for her.

Ah that was devastating for me… I figured I had already lost, but I would stay around to be friends. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. Oh well. That doesn’t matter anymore. As it turned out you got over her slowly and you asked me out in November.

I had heard all the stories you had to tell. All the wrongs you had done… I listened about every ex and even had to deal with one messaging me…

I’m a petty person and that is still unforgiven by me… I was hurting very badly that day. It had been the first November. First thanksgiving without Lennon. My cat was extremely sick…

Being messaged about something as stupid as that was very… Frustrating. So I read the message and told you about it… Even though it got me messaged a second time…

Not to mention a ton of fucking journal entries…

I can’t even describe how pissed off I was. Yet I didn’t start any fights. Didn’t snap at her. Instead I chose to ignore her until you spoke to her after I had told you not too.

A journal entry she posted after you had done the very thing I asked you not to do… That was the breaking point. Nope. You weren’t to speak to her again.

She deserved the silence.

She’s back in your life now a days even though you two don’t speak much and that’s fine. I don’t trust her, but I don’t wish ill of her. I hope she finds happiness because everyone should.

You aren’t some godly person who has done no wrong. I’m very aware of the things that you have done. I know there are things that people may never forgive you for and that is fine.

You are only human. To move forward in life we have to make mistakes. I’ve made my fair share. I’m still struggling.

We butt heads due to a lot of differences, but I still care a lot about you. Still love and enjoy being around you.

I wanted to write you something nice and sweet… Which is why I had wanted to check something on es on your computer…

I got frustrated when you tried to take it away before I had even finished what I was looking up.

Made me immediately think you were hiding something from me. Didn’t want me to see something.

It’s things like this that we bump heads about.

I love you so much… Im sorry that I got frustrated at you and snipped. I simply wanted to check the account we met on to make sure I was writing the right number of years we’ve been friends and partners.

Im tired. It’s harder to think of what I wanted to write now…

I’ll wrap it up here for now. I love you and I again I apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you.
ShieldHero-     228d ago

I'm sorry hun.
I love you so much.
I don't know if I was supposed to reply to this or not.

You told me I had a message and I didn't see you were writing a thing. (It was just Joey messaging me cutie.)

Though I understand if you don't trust me.
I told you about my past.
About me and Lance taking turns cheating on each other.
Or how my relationship with Jill was.

So yeah I can understand.
Didn't help how fast I brought that stuff up.
But... I met you on ES where at the time we met I had a lot more enemies than I do now a days.

Now a days I think the only two enemies I've got left is... Lance which means nothing to me really as I'm over the whole ordeal he can hold onto whatever grudge makes him happy. That and... I guess it's random cause he's so absent but SonicSpeed?
God, don't get me wrong I had issues and I did things so wrong but that guy was just an idiot.
Cheated on a girl.. Twice with the same girl than started looking down on me about ex's and such.
I mean he was so dumb I called him up with no real indication who I was just called him Azzy like I was an old friend and he had a 2 hour phone call with me.
Either he's dumb or just absolutely insane. (I was too for willing to talk to him but I have this bad habit of trying to learn how people work when some people need to just be avoided clear and simple)

[h3 Track]
Okay back on track today is worse than usual cause I was the only person sheduled basically in my area.
And the heat is sapping and my everything hurts.
So I'm more out of it than usual.

I love you.
I've given you every password my phone has no service now.
I don't get on PS4/ps5 (DnD) so my contacts are pretty much nothing except Yoruneko and Joey on ES now.
It's you and you're family.
Plus we are attached at the hip IRL now all the time.

I can tell that if Lance read this (Since he still stalks my stuff to this day) He might be like.
"Hes up to his old tricks again" and feel inclined to message you.
Which heck he can if he feels the need to.
Just knowing how angry you are though it'd probably it'd up with you yelling at him xD

You're right.
There are people who won't ever forgive me.
And though I think... (Not sure honestly) Jill has forgiven me. (I've forgiven her long ago)
We may never see things eye to eye fully.
Which means things may never have a full closure between us because we disagree how certain things happened because from our own perspectives it happened differently.
It dawns on me just.. How different we saw things.

It isn't bad and she isn't bad for being different from me but... I don't think we ever fully understood each other.
Cared about each other yes.
Understood? Probably not and I feel bad I don't. But some people just clash a little more than others in that sense. (Not arguing just clashing perspectives)

I... I love you.
I feel terrible.

I tried to sneak a kiss at work (I know terrible) and I guess I got slightly sad you wouldn't cause we were alone.
I understood it was to be professional so I let it go.
You were dead silent this morning. (We ended on a romantic note last night)
And I guess I was sad...
You got fluffier as we got home though asking me to stay downstairs while you eat cause you didn't wanna be alone.
It kewt! <3
Stuff like that makes me happy.

But... You seemed so dead and low energy beside that.
I didn't imagine a love letter.

That... Would have been nice.
I mean the sentiment is still nice thank you.

But I ruined a love letter just cause I yanked the computer curious who messaged (You told me I had one but not from who so I got curious)
If you think I'm hiding it you can open it before me.

I'm sorry I'm mega ADHD.
God my shoulder/back hurts so bad right now random but jesus.

I'm so drained and I love you're brother (Ya know the 1 cause 3 lol)
But being shown stuff and put into conversation when I'm trying to take a moment to restore energy after work is so draining.

I know he doesn't mean to but it just adds to us bumping heads.

I love you oh so dearly.

You didn't upset me.
I feel like I upset you hun.

I feel like shit for turning a cute love letter to a wall of complaints...
There's this tiny voice in my head that tells me that's what I do to people.
Make them angry and I'm not really fit to have people in my life because I'm a god damn useless disaster pos.

But... I know that's over reacting I still feel it but logically it's over reacting.
When I calm down and rest.
And you rest and calm down.
Maybe than we can share with each other another love letter.
Cause it's always such a treat when I get to read one <3
Hope you enjoy mine when the time comes! Mwah!
Love you bunches you are my world.
-Rabbit.Him&I.   228d ago

[center It’s okay. I’m just tired today. It’s not your fault. I don’t nose through your messages XD. I didn’t know who messaged you.

Sorry… I shouldn’t be so cranky today.]
-Rabbit.Rabbit.   224d ago

Things to keep track of and possibly change. Starting with HeartBloom.
-Rabbit.Rabbit.   223d ago

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