[center I wonder why I am always brought to my journal when the most loving of thoughts hit me. I can never say them out loud, but boy do they like to swim pleasantly in my head. Maybe it is the thought of stepping outside and looking into another persons home and hearing their thoughts, feelings, and of course frustrations. Yet I am seeing them continue to work on their relationship which even though I am doubtful... It is a beautiful thing.
For me it lingers in my mind and I see all the things that I myself struggle with. Frustration, thoughts, and feelings. I have been going through something that I don't quite understand. It makes me moody and awful to be around. I would prefer snapping instead of talking. I get a lot more defensive and I just cry all the time.
I don't understand what I am going through or why I'm going through it, but I do know that one thing remains the same and that is my love for you. It still remains and burns strong.
I worry over people who come and go in your life. The exs and the friends, but it is all passing. I get over it. As I should. It may take time, but the feelings usually return to normal. I don't know why this time right now is worse, but it is.
I won't stop friendships though because you haven't stopped mine. I hope that they flourish as they should. Someday my mind will only remember them as your friends. Hopefully whatever I am going through will stop and I'll get better. I really hope it is soon.
I am trying the best that I can. I am sorry that I ended up acting that way. Angry and hard to calm down. Childish and selfish. I am feeling better today, but that mood is... I don't know... I can still feel it there... This ever looming anger and irritation. It doesn't belong anywhere... It is just there. Festering over nothing.
I don't understand and I hate it.
I love you so much. You are a good person. Sweet and kind to me. Everything I look for in a person.
I am not going anywhere. I am happy right where I am now even when I'm in a bad mood.