Happiness is a lie , it is sold to those who need something to believe in to make their worlds and lives better from all the pain and darkness that was hidden within their very souls. The cruelty of life was so much bleaker than that where all one's hopes and dreams could be snatched away in a mere few seconds of life and that happiness could never be regained or restored it left behind only darkness and pain. The shattering of one's whole world by the hands of another and no way to hide from the true horrors of this real life. One night of unbelievable pain changed the whole course of one's life. Years of waiting and planning , or wowing and caring, giving completely of one's self to another. Than within a few seconds all of it was taken away cleared away as if nothing mattered that those hopes and dreams meant nothing at all that all the life plans and hopes and dreams where simply just a fantasy that could fade away like the early morning dew on the ground with the heat of the sun burning away all traces of its existence leaving nothing behind. When one got married to the love of your life you plan on it being forever to death do you part, however it never enters your mind that death would come calling early and take away the one who you love with all your heart and your very soul. Now that same person was taken away the person who pushed you to become a better person to leave all of your bad habits behind you and turn your life around completely and now that influence was taken cruely out of your life without you having any say in it whatsoever.
Liam Cooper sat in a dark room his knees pushed up against a wooden bar his head hanging low as he looked at the glass fit snuggly in the palm of his hands as he studied the dark liquid sitting within the glass as if it was a living and breathing thing speaking to him. Lifting his hand he brought the drink up and down it with one swallow he placed the glass back down on the bar and finally lifted his head and it was clear his eyes where blood shot and dark circles hung under them he had clearly not slept in many days [b "Barkeep..another."] he roughly called out the bartender took a glance at him, but said nothing as he walked over taking a bottle out from under the counter he poured the shot in the glass placing the bottle back under the counter and slide the glass back across to Liam, but left his hand on it long enough for Liam to look up at the man who looked at him with meaning. "Last one Liam..you need to go home.." the man sat quietly staring the bartender down as hard as he could the man took a step back and lifted his hands up frowning slightly. [b "That isn't a home anymore...just keep pouring..and mind your business.."] Liam growled and the barkeep retreated quickly saying nothing else, but heading to the back office to grab the phone and made a call before heading back to the bar and keeping an eye on Liam who once again had his head down and was staring soulfully into the bottom of the glass searching to the answers to all of his problems inside the brown liquid that would never solve his problems, but Liam cared very little about this he cared about nothing anymore not since he had lost Sharon.
He picked up the glass and this time he took a sip of the liquid not shooting it down as he had done earlier, but letting the slow burn creep down his throat in the hopes that the warmth would somehow reach his very soul. About that time a police officer came walking into the bar and the barkeep tilted his head towards Liam and the officer nodded his head and started moving that way his hand on his hip , but didn't seem to be in a hurry or very worried about Liam who had already noticed the man's presence inside of the bar. Liam took his glass and finished it off before slowly standing up and turning to face the officer who stopped and smiled grimly at Liam and tilted his head towards the exit of the bar Liam said nothing and simply walked out the bar the cop following outside and towards the patrol car the silence between the two men was almost like a wall that was building higher and higher and getting thicker with no hope or relief. "Liam..you really need to stop...this is the seven call I had on you in two days..do us a favor man..go home.." He spoke softly and Liam stopped beside the car and turned and looked at the officer. [b "Screw you Frank..."] His eyes were full of hate, but Frank didn't say anything just simply opened the backdoor and Liam climb inside sitting down leaning against the back sit as Frank got into the car and picked up his Raido. "Unit 110 picked up Liam..go ahead and place the call..have them pick him up at the station." He placed the raido back down and glanced at Liam in the mirror. "Liam..I am sorry..I will have them called and you can go home with them tonight..but you can't go back to the bar." Liam closed his eyes and said nothing his mind turning to a couple who had been his friends for years the woman he had had romantic feelings for many years ago and the man who he had grown close too over the years and he could only imagine the how the two would react on getting this call so close was it before or after the wedding he could not remember and he only slightly hoped that he had ruined the night for them both because he wanted someone else to also feel his pain.
Happiness was true and it did happen to people, it just came in different forms whether it was the birth of baby, marriage, getting a new puppy, seeing family....or just simply hearing a song on the radio.There were many instances on becoming happy but where was happiness also came heartbreak and sorrow.
For Willa, she had found true happiness twice in her life. Her first course of unstoppable smiling was with a man named Liam Cooper. A man who was wild and ever so kind, a heart warm that was hidden by a bad boy streak. Liam was truly a man she could see her forever. They lived together. They loved together. Willa often spoke on she would lie and steal for him, while Liam, spoke on dying for her if it came to the end. Their love was often shown upon sheets upon a mattress or the one instance of an alleyway, which by fair was not Willa's best moment. The pair loved each other passionately and that was perhaps it all went wrong. With God being God, he snatched there happiness of love and forced the two to go their separate ways.
Throughout their future's without one another, both led lives that were mediocre, it was a life, happiness, sadness, guilt... Liam found his forever partner while Willa found the man, she was to marry.
Her second happiness.
But secretly, one never forgot their first love.
Liam and Willa did re-connect through the social media realm and she was happy to see him married and the pair formed a bond with the new married couple. They were friends and often enjoyed each other's company with games of gin rummy, bridge ...or the simple drink at the bar.
Devastation came around the corner like a whirlwind and Liam was not doing well, while Willa's life was thriving. A great job, a handsome and caring man - the stress of a wedding but a wedding none the less, however but one night, a call came through and it was Willa who woke up.
Leaning up in the dark, the female reached over and turned on the lamp before reaching for the phone.
[b "Hello?..."] The male on the end of the line was an Officer and spoke on Liam Cooper being brought in for a reason that Willa simply sighed over.
[b "Yeah...yeah, no I'll be right there.."] [+b "Who is it?.."] [b "Yes, thank you...bye.."] [+red "What's going on?..']
Willa rubbed her face slowly and removed herself from the bed shaking her bed. [b "Liam was arrested. Umm..drunk and refusing to leave a bar, so ...drunk and disorderly?.. I don't know."] [+red " And they called here?"] [b "Well they cant call his house, can they?..."] Willa spoke, looking at Jackson hinting that Sharon wasn't there anymore to take the call as she removed her pyjamas and got dressed in casual yet comfy attire, that of a pair of jeans and a loose knitted sweater, snow boots with her hair up in a messy ponytail, but enough to make her somewhat respectable.
[+red "I'll go with you..'] [b "No...no, I would think one person would embarrass him..let alone two. You have work in the morning, just go to sleep...I'll be home soon. I'll call and let you know.."]
Kissing Jackson goodbye, Willa up and left the house, got into her car and drove the few miles to the police station where they were waiting for her. The Officers in blue escorted her to the cell and she sighed the moment she saw Liam at his lowest.
[b " You look like shit..."] she spoke softly as she stood by the bars, keeping her eyes on the man who was once her Romeo, the love of her life.
[b "You need to stop this, Liam. This isnt doing you any good and Sharon would not want this from you.."]
The jail stank of bathroom and sweat, but that did little to bother Liam all he wanted to do was to drink his memories away to be able to blind himself from all of this pain and hurt that was coming from deep inside of him. The drunk tank or holding cell was lightly crowded and most of the other people in the cell where either passed out or sleeping by this time not Liam though because closing his eyes would mean seeing Sharon's face once again haunting him calling for him a call that he could not answer no matter how he tried too. Liam had chased the buttom of many a bottle just to forget, but no matter how much he drank the memories would never stop coming it was like they where flooding in from his very soul that something deep within himself would never let him forget her no matter how hard he might try too. He slowly sat down on the bed in the holding cell and placed his head in his hands and closed his eyes and just for the berif moment let Sharon's face swim towards him though his alcohol hazed mind her smile almost tore the very soul from his body. He felt wetness strain his cheek as a tear fell down his face and quickly he wiped it away before anyone could see his moment of weakness of remembering the person he had promised to spend forever with and now that dream was gone never to be returned no matter how hard he tried to chase it back down once again. Sharon had died so quickly and unexpectedly it still spun his head around in circles how someone so healthy could simply just fall over and be gone and no amount of cpr would ever bring her back.
Sharon had a aneurysm which had went through her body so quickly that she was dead before her body ever touched the ground. The doctors were shocked that someone so young could have something like this in their body and no test or signs that she had it were ever witnessed or recorded and just as easily as she had walked into his life at one of his lowest points she had fallen back out of it never to be able to return again and set him back onto the right path guiding him with her gentle hand. He heard keys jingling apparently the officers were bringing someone back to the holding cell, but Liam never looked up he could guess at who it was either it would be Jackson with a look of disgust and pity or it would be her the reason he had needed Sharon in his life in the first place. Willa had been Liam's first true love who he had given himself to completely, but they had been like the old saying oil and gasoline don't mix they over start a greater fire and they had burned away at each other so bright and hot it left scars on the soul. During the good times she was one of the best things that had ever happened to him and they flowed like water joining together anywhere and everywhere that they could, but during the bad times it was like two tornados smacking against each other seeing which one would consume the other until nothing was left, but pure destruction. Liam remembered that Willa had been a good girl kind and sweet until she had meet him and his wild side took over and he lead her down a path not many ever return from. That was what happened to the two of them Willa had wanted to stop all the drinking all of the partying she had wanted a normal life and Liam had wanted to keep on bouncing from place to place good time to good time without ever having to stop. So Willa had left him to straight her life out and when she had left Liam had completely went out of control going into some of the darkest parts of his life doing everything he could get his hands on living his life as if he were already dead that was where he meet Sharon. Liam had gotten so bad he was forced to go to the hospital where his stomach was pumped and his body was shaking his life only faintly holding on when Sharon had walked into his room held onto his hand and asked him to hang on just a little longer that he would live if he could just be strong for a little longer. Seventeen hours later they had moved him to the recovery room and Sharon a nurse at the time had never left his side she had stayed with him in valley of the shadow of death. Every day after that Liam would always find himself gravitating to the hospital where he would see Sharon and she would always smile and come over give him a hug and tell him to be strong that he could make it if he would be strong. A voice broke his train of thought and he knew it at once Willa had been the one who came down to the station and he slowly lifted his eyes to lock onto her form even in his drunken haze it was not lost on him just how amazing she looked even if she had been just woken out of bed. "You look like shit" Of course that would be the first thing she would say to him after seeing each other once again after the funeral than her next words cut him to the core. "You need to stop this, Liam. This isnt doing you any good and Sharon would not want this from you.." He knew that this is what Sharon had saved him from and now he was right back in the pit that she had painfully pulled him out of to set him free from himself. "What...do you care...what Sharon would want...or what happens to me...Sharon left us Willa! She left me! There is nothing left, but this! What I always was! What I always Am! This is life without Sharon! If she wanted better than this! She shouldn't have left!" The pain in his voice was heart breaking as he screamed at her he knew she was only there to help him, but he wanted to lash out at someone anyone it didn't matter who or what or why. The police officer just slowly shook his head as he unlocked the cell Liam standing up walked out of the cell his shoulder brushing against Willa as he rushed by trying to escape from her from all of this pain away from the memory of Sharon the police didn't try to stop him as he hit the doors of the station and started walking through the parking lot he didn't know where he was going, but he was now sorry Willa was there she was the last person he wanted to see or be with because she always reminded him of why he had meet Sharon.
Their love was furious and ever so wicked. Willa had everything; pure opportunities for everything as she was raised to be a good girl and follow the straight line through life, but what kind of fun was a straight line?
Upon meeting Liam, Willa was as straight as an arrow and soon, he made her world zigzag and swirl and cross and become a jumble which was a lot more fun she soon found it to be. Nights under the sheets, whispering sweet nothings while making love which at times became rough. Drinking.Stealing.Running away from proper authorities until one day, their love just ...burnt out.
They were both so enamored with each other that the two of them forgot to breath.The sweet melody they shared was soon over and it was because of Willa that Liam threw himself into the drunken stupor mess.Without her, he would never of met Sharon .....without her, he would of never of felt the grief of loss.
Willa remained by the outer-side of the bars, not paying attention to any of the other reprobates that sat in the cell for crimes, she dared not know; instead she kept those eyes upon Liam who slowly slipped up from his lying position to look at her. Despite everything they did together in the past, never had she seen Liam deep down in the depths of despair before. Everything about him in that jail cell and the way he looked made her sigh. Liam was a very sexual, handsome, masculine man, a man who was capable of love but a man who was not capable to coming to terms with grief. Could anyone? His eyes were bloodshot. His hair a ruffled mess, Willa could not imagine the smell he radiated but she soon that out as he came closer to the cell door that was opening up, yelling his paint at her. [i "What...do you care...what Sharon would want...or what happens to me...Sharon left us Willa! She left me! There is nothing left, but this! What I always was! What I always Am! This is life without Sharon! If she wanted better than this! She shouldn't have left!"]
Willa could not give out a reply in time as Liam pushed passed her and headed out towards the exit of the Police Station. Apologizing to the Officer, paying the bail out fee before seeing the Captive, Willa fled after her ex lover and finally caught up to him on the pavement outside the Precinct. Reaching out, Willa hastily gripped Liam's jacket and pulled him to her with a solid stop.
Now she was angry. [b “Just because you committed this crime doesn’t mean you should throw me, or Jackson or the very being that was Sharon in jail with you!.]
Oh yes, Willa was angry.The tone in her voice was raised, pointing a finger at Liam as if he was a naughty child. [b "She was my friend too, god dammit! I lost my friend and you know what, I am grieving two people I deeply care for, not just one! I am grieving Sharon...and you!"] Willa lowered her finger, breathing heavily as tears started to form in her eyes. [b "I know you miss her. God knows and I know ..and Jackson knows how much you miss and love her, but this...needs to stop. Sharon is with you, even when you cant see her; she is here and the last thing she would fucking want is the man she loved, destroying himself because he feels guilt that he couldn't save her. Imagine her for a minute. Think of how hard it would of been for her to leave YOU!"]
Keeping those eyes on Liam, a tear fell, a tear of pain and sadness escaping as she could not bottle it in any longer.
[b "You have to stop ...for me... I can't see you like this anymore..."]
Closing her eyes, Willa raised a hand and wiped her face, nose and mouth with the sleeve of her oversized knitted shirt. She loved Jackson, yes but the love she also had for her ex love would never fade. No one ever forgot their first love.
[b "My car is over there, I'll take you to mine and Jackson's house, you can sleep this off.."] she said calmly before turning on her heel and headed towards the car.
The words he had screamed still rung in his ears and were echoing deep into his heart, he knew that it was unfair for him to throw his anger and pain at her after all she had came all the way here just to get him out of jail and to take him somewhere anywhere, but he almost didn't care he wanted to hurt someone with his words he needed to see the pain and grief on someone else's face besides his own even with the guilt creeping deep within his soul for the things that he had said there was also the smallest amount of joy. What was that old saying? Misery loves company? That was how Liam felt exactly at that moment when Willa had broken down and told him how much hurt she was feeling because not only had she lost one friend, but she was losing another right in front of her and hearing how much she still cared for him pricked his heart it almost melted him to see the tears running down her face he could feel himself cracking just slightly at the scene of her crying alone not just the words she spoke either. “Just because you committed this crime doesn’t mean you should throw me, or Jackson or the very being that was Sharon in jail with you! The mentioning of Jackson Liam thought abou5 the man who had become a very good friend to him over the last couple of years since he had reconnected with Willa had surprised Liam he honestly never though he would grow close to the one who was dating his ex girlfriend that he once cared for so greatly and longingly for until Sharon had changed all of that in his life turning him into a better mam, a better friend someone you could get alone with.
"She was my friend too, god dammit! I lost my friend and you know what, I am grieving two people I deeply care for, not just one! I am grieving Sharon...and you!" Grieving for him or was she pitying him seeing him turn back to what he once had been before Sharon what he had turned into after falling away from her what she caused him to turn into for the first time that had almost claimed his life until precious Sharon had stopped him on his downward slide and turn him around to walk a path of light once again.
"I know you miss her. God knows and I know ..and Jackson knows how much you miss and love her, but this...needs to stop. Sharon is with you, even when you cant see her; she is here and the last thing she would fucking want is the man she loved, destroying himself because he feels guilt that he couldn't save her. Imagine her for a minute. Think of how hard it would of been for her to leave YOU!" They missed her? THEY MISSED HER! Once again his rage returned fueled by the alcohol that was still burning inside of his veins and he almost flipped around on her right than and there his mouth opening to spit out the venom burning inside of his throat he would destory her everything she was crying over he would show her she had no clue what he was going through what he felt what Sharon would have wanted to do or would have said didn't she think he knew who Sharon would have reached to see him returning to this way of life once again after she had freed him from it!
"You have to stop ...for me... I can't see you like this anymore..." Do it for her? Why would he do it for her? Because it brought her pain to see him destorying himself? Why? He didn't matter to her she had Jackson there was no reason for her to be in so much pain and grieving just because of him unless she truly cared about Sharon that much of course the two women had taken to each other as much as one could they being the wife and ex of the same man however Willa being with Jackson had put peace the two women. He pushed the thoughts from his head as she told him he was going home with her to stay the night and sleep off his drunken haze his mouth moved down into a from as he thought about sleeping in the same house as Willa and Jackson in their loving peaceful happy relationship home with smiles and laughter and he felt the inside of his stomach twist and he thought he would be sick so he doubled over making sure to give himself plenty of clearance not to get puke all over himself, but nothing came he just stood there hands on knees as Willa was walking away from him to her car. [b "Listen Willa...I am glad you got me out..and I will pay you back..I don't want to go home...but I can't go with you..Seeing you and Jackson...to many memories of Sharon....I would rather go to a bar..I just want to forget Willa.. for a few blissful seconds.. I want to forget she is gone.."] He muttered softly, but all the same he stumbled as he straightened up and walked over to her car fumbling to open the door he slowly slide down into the passenger seat as he turned and looked at her. [b "Take me to a motel...and leave the window down. I am going to be sick.."] Than he turned away from her the tears where wiped away, but he could no longer look at her face the alcohol had moved to the next faze and he was remembering just how attractive she was and what she really looked like under all she had on and a pang of guilt smoked his heart and he kept his eyes on the window not really seeing where she was taking him and he honestly didn't care as long as she wasn't taking him home.
Perhaps it was not the right thing in opening her mouth and yelling at Liam the way she did. However, in that moment; Willa saw no other outlet and needed for the boy to understand frustrations and try to drill in his mind that it was not just him who was grieving the loss. Sharon was a wonderful human being and while in the very beginning Willa felt jealousy, it soon turned out that Sharon and Liam were a good match.
Sharon put out the fire that was Liam. Willa doused the fire and continued to make it burn which was why perhaps they both burnt out the way they did.
[i "Listen Willa...I am glad you got me out..and I will pay you back..I don't want to go home...but I can't go with you..Seeing you and Jackson...to many memories of Sharon....I would rather go to a bar..I just want to forget Willa.. for a few blissful seconds.. I want to forget she is gone.."]
Willa opened the door of the passenger seat and soon left the spot to get into her own drivers side of the car, sighing at Liam's words. Slipping into the car, it was not long until he got in, closed the door and they were soon off.
A motel was probably a good idea but in this case, Liam needed friends, family and not to be alone.
[b "You will never forget she is gone, know you. I think it is wrong for someone to forget one truly. I am not asking you to forget Sharon, remember her and her memory but...this is not the way to deal with it all..."] Willa spoke, focusing on the road while Liam looked out the window and wiped tears away. It had been months now since Sharon had passed and Liam shed tears still.
Did she shed tears for this long without her?
[b "You aren't going to a motel. You are coming back to the house, you are going to go to bed and sleep. Jackson is asleep and is going to work in a few hours. I'll be home to keep you company.."]
Willa turned corners, accelerated and slowed down. Stopped and lights and went through the green ones until finally she drove into the driveway and turned the car off.
Leaning back on the seat, the two remained silent for a moment before she turned and looked at Liam.
[b "It's going to be a long road, Liam but I promise you will be happy again. One day.."]
Opening the door, Willa reached over and touched his shoulder gently and with a friendly nature before getting out of the car, needing Liam to follow.
Her house was quite nice indeed. Double story with a pool in the back with a guest house. In this case, Liam was too stay inside the house where she and Jackson could keep an eye on the new drunkard. Unlocking the door, Liam behind - the pair walked into the house slowly and quietly as Jackson was asleep.
Willa closed the door behind, locked it shut securely before pointing upstairs.
[b "You know your room. Go up and sleep this off. I'll see you in the morning..."]
How many times had he climbed into this seat with Jackson behind the wheel and Willa and Sharon sitting in the back sit? In simple peaceful happiness where the world was wide open and mistakes were forgotten and forgiven with a easy smile and a head nodding in understanding where two people who should hate you for everything that you put one of them through in their earlier life accepted you and let you into their lives to even become very close friends, shopping strips for the girls and fishing or building projects for the guys to bound over discovering all the best things in life. Liam use too thing all the best things came in brown bottles or even in his darkest days what came out of a very small thin needle and coursed it's way through his body making him in a slight second to feel alive. Nothing however made me feel more alive than the rides in this car where the four of them where high on life and making their mark on the world together, he could still remember looking up into the mirror and see Sharon glance up at him and flash that pretty little smile at him that always caused flip flops in his stomach. Liam took his eyes off of the window and they moved to the mirror staring into the black empty back seat there was no smile there to twist his stomach or to make him feel the butterflie. No now there was only darkness and emptiness and a single tear started to fall down his face as he thought about just how fitting that setting was, how his life had become since Sharon had died black and empty with no joy or peace or happiness within sight and he knew it was never coming back.
Liam turned his head slightly and looked at the profile of Willa who was talking some while she was driving, but he wasn't listening to what she was saying he was too lost in his own hopeless cycle of despair to realize she had told him she wouldn't be taking him to a hotel which would have been a much better move even if she could not have kept her eyes on him, but she was taking him to her home a place where he and Sharon had shared so many laughs and silly moments with her and Jackson. Instead he was thinking about the one thing that had brought him a little happiness in the last darkness that was his life and that was when he had caused pain and guilt in this woman's peaceful life where she left her warm shared bed came to pull him out of a drunk tank of course she had been drilling him since she had picked him up, but just for a few seconds he had lost his pain by inflicting it onto someone else with this thought in mind a dark glint coated his eyes and he thought that to he happy he might just have to keep dragging this peaceful happy woman down into the darkness with him once again. He had a sudden imagine of Sharon looking extremely unhappy flash into his mind and he turned his head away from Willa and looked out of the window once again. No he couldn't do that too her he had destroyed her life once before when they where younger and took her to the brink of never returning to a normal life just look at him right now. Sharon was dead, she was dead and she wouldn't be coming back and he had already thrown himself back into his old way of life chasing the brown bottle thankfully he had not started looking for needles yet..
Snapped back to reality Liam realized he wasn't feeling sick anymore and he focused in on the scene around him and he saw homes he knew and it suddenly dawned on him where Willa was taking him, to her and Jackson's home the place where he and Sharon had spent many of a day at sometimes depending on the time or the day of the week they sometimes stayed the night in the guest apartment. Liam turned now to face her a look of Venom on his face as if he could poison her he would sink his fangs into her and let her take every last drop of poison he had left in his body, he could not believe that she had not taken him to the motel like he had asked her too instead she brought him to a house that was almost as worse as going home to his own and the thing that made it even better was the man laying in his bed sleeping his peaceful restful sleep knowing his woman would return to him every single night. However before he could spurt his anger out at her she turned and laid her hand on his shoulder telling him that it would be okay again one day, Her touch sent and electric shock through his body how long had it been since a woman had touched him so gently it took the words right out of his mouth before he could aim his anger at her for not doing what she was told and he dumbly let her lead him from the car to the house through the door before his mind caught up with this new feeling rushing through his body.
Liam watched as Willa locked the doors than turned to face him telling him Jackson was sleeping and would be leaving shortly to go to work she however would be here with him all day long and would watch over him, so he was to become her child project someone for her to fuss over like she did so many times before with other cases. After hearing Sharon's story of how she had mended Liam's way Willa seemed to always be wanting to fix something broken herself and now she would have her shot at fixing the man she could not fit the first time. Liam could feel the rage there of being brought to this place as Willa pointed towards his room and he glanced towards the stairs he could almost see Sharon standing there waving at him to come on up for them to have private time together while the other couple was busy or away. Liam turned back towards Willa the anger clear in his eyes. [b "I will stay here tonight..but I am leaving first thing in the morning. I can't believe you brought me here... might as well went to my own house.."] he scolded her his eyes hard, but softened slightly as he felt that thrill run through his body again so he reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder looking into her eyes and grinned. [b "Are you going to follow me up those stairs Willa..and tuck me in for the night.."] as he spoke he leaned forward closer and closer to her his breath boozy washing over her face before he laughed a bitter harsh laugh and turning on his hill he stumbled and stomped his way up the stairs to his bedroom. What had once been their bedroom and now just his bedroom for the rest of him the electric rush was flowing through his body once again after being so close to Willa and smelling her once again he shook his head pushing that thought far away and focused once again on Sharon not laying in the bed he was heading too for the night and darkness once again clouded his drunken mind opening the room door he walked in closing it behind him not locking it as he stumbled his way towards the foot of the bed and just stopped there staring down at its emptiness just like how his life was without Sharon everything was empty. Shaking himself and not wanting to touch that bed yet he turned and walked towards the bathroom where he stripped off his clothes while bumping into everything seeing double turning on cold water he stepped into the stream of water and let its icy flow overtake him washing the boozy smell off is body and slowly sobering his mind back to somewhat of a reality and not his drunken haze that he had basically been living in for so many days closing his eyes shutting out the smell, the touch of Willa, shutting out the playful laughter of Sharon in his mind he let nothingness overtake him and wash itself all away in the water his body leaning against the wall not realizing he was very close to blacking out in the shower or possibly even falling asleep under the icy flow washing over him just cause he wanted to cleanse all the thoughts in his mind and empty all of himself in the shower as his body started to shake from the cold water and tears running down his face as sorrow finally won out and Liam lost his battle with his emotions.
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