Punz sat under a tree, ironically humming and mumbling along to Dream's "Under The Tree" song whilst playing with his gold chain. What was he doing? Relaxing and taking it easy as it was his day off. Oh, and protecting his horde of gold too; he couldn't trust anyone with it, so he guarded it whenever he could, much like the Warden guards the prison. At least Punz wasn't overworking himself to death unlike the creeper hybrid, he figured to himself as he continued messing around with his chain and medallion, his tail flicking around happily behind him.
Sapnap took a soft breath before letting it out, opening his eyes as he held a hand out and grabbed the branch above him, then hoisted himself up and blew a bit of hot air onto the other. He thought doing this was funny, even if Punz didn't think so. He'd stop if he was told to, but he didn't want to.
One of Punz's ears softly flicked, his actions slowing for a moment before resuming as they had been, not needing to look up from his medallion to know who it was. "Oh, hey Sapnap, do you need something?" He asked as his ear flicked yet again. "And before you ask, no, I'm not helping you start another pet war, we've already had two of those so far, and didn't you lose a canon life as a result?" Punz stated with mild amusement in his voice, shifting to lay on his stomach rather than sit up, kicking his feet around in the air.
Sapnap whined as he looked down at him, hugging one of his knees before hopping down and sitting next to him, pulling the smaller of the two into his lap. (since this tall motherfucker is 7'4 and Punz is 1'4 shorter than him) He hummed and hugged him quietly while purring softly, nuzzling his hair. "You're no fun, babe." He grumbled softly as he sighed, but quietly began to cuddle with him. Bad and Skeppy were too busy to cuddle, and he was looking for time with him anyways, so he thought it was a good idea. He loved him so much.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm well aware, no need to tell me that. I've heard it many times. The mercenary's never aaaany fun, ain't that right?" Punz joked with a roll of his eyes, leaning into Sapnap and sighing. The moonbloom hybrid let go of his golden medallion and simply let it hang from his neck once more. "Mind the horns, by the way," He muttered out as a small reminder when Sapnap nuzzled at his hair, knowing his little horns tended to hide within his blonde floof. The last thing he'd want was to hurt the other by accident, despite being a trained mercenary ready to kill.
He kissed his head gently as he let out a soft blaze noise, then picking him up and looking down at him. "Can we go home, flower?" He asked softly, giving him an almost begging look. "I haven't had your cooking in a while and I wanna eat food you made and watch Netflix." It had been a little while, and Sapnap had been patient. Well, he thought he'd been patient for long enough, and he wanted to do something domestic with his mercenary enbyfriend.
Punz blinked, looking up at Sapnap as his ear flicked, his hood softly falling off the top of his head as he glanced over towards his hidden gold vault. He wasn't comfortable leaving it unattended, that much was a well-known fact, so he had to give his answer some genuine thought. "Well... I suppose the dogs could look after here for me..." He murmured quietly, nodding before he had the chance to change his mind, not wanting to disappoint Sapnap with a changed answer. "Sure, why not."
That seemed to make him very happy, and he stole a kiss before setting him on his feet. "Yay!" He cheered happily before wandering off and towards their house while holding Punz's hand to make sure he didn't wander off. Sapnap wanted to make sure he got what he wanted, and when he got into the house, he flopped onto the couch before looking up at him. "I love you-" He hummed out, then looked at the kitchen as he began to hope that Punz would make something. He knew that anything he himself made would turn out burnt and inedible.
"I love you too, Sap." The moonbloom hybrid replied as he slid into the kitchen after slipping off his hoodie and gold chain, setting them both to the side. White fabric, chains, and cooking usually didn't mix; he knew that much. Punz looked around at what they had, trying to piece together what exactly to make. He leaned against the counter after finding options for him to cook, sassily looking at his nails as he smiled. "Taquitos or mini fajitas, which do you want? I'm in the mood for Mexican. Aaaand before you ask, no, you don't get other options; sorry not sorry."
Sapnap pouted a bit before thinking about it, shrugging softly as he grinned. "Either way it's gonna be good. I don't really care which." He did have a preference normally, but the moonbloom hybrid's cooking was too good for him to have a preference for either. He just wanted to eat his cooking all the time, and probably would if given the opportunity.
"Fajitas it is considering your appetite," Punz joked with a hum, swiftly getting to work chopping away at veggies and chicken; he never worked with beef as, in his own words, he wasn't going to 'eat my brethren and be a mercenary AND a cannibal'. "Could you find us a show to watch while you wait, please? Oh, and maybe put on some music? That'd be nice," He asked as politely as he could, offering Sapnap a gentle smile while heating up a skillet.
"Yessir~!" Sapnap chirped as he grabbed the remote, trying to tease him a bit with the name but probably failing while scrolling through the channels of Netflix. Of course, Sapnap liked beef but he never ate it around Punz, since he knew he might get a bit offended by it. He preferred to keep his enbyfriend, thank you very much.
Punz only rolled his eyes and flicked his tail at the sound of the name he was called. He never paid much attention to Sapnap's teases, unless, of course, they were going into a teasing war to see which one would get flustered the first. He laughed quietly to himself upon the reminder, rather liking those. Meanwhile, he continued to work away at the fajitas, somehow making Mexican rice appear into thin air as a side dish, probably having chugged a small speed potion so he could work faster. It definitely took the mercenary a hot minute to finish cooking and plating it all, but when he was done, he let out a content sigh as he grabbed the plates and slid his way over to the couch, handing Sapnap the plates heaping with a mountain of food made specifically with him in mind. "You're helping with the cleanup later by the wayyyy," Punz told him smugly as he grinned.
He looked over at him before sighing dramatically and rolling his eyes, then picking one of the plates and taking it from him. "Thanks, babe. And fine, but no promises that I won't burn anything during ittt," He teased as he grinned, then began to eat quietly as he just picked a cruddy romance movie for them to watch. It wasn't his fault Punz's cooking and Punz in general distracted him a lot. He just loved him, and he looked down at him before kissing his temple. "I appreciate it."
Punz blinked as his ear flicked before his expression turned visibly confused that asked the almighty question: 'how the fuck does one burn literally anything while washing dishes?'. He didn't want an answer however, instead trying to enjoy his own serving of food and watch the movie Sapnap had chosen for them to watch without thoughts of seemingly impossible arson. He leaned against the other softly while he ate away, "Oh geez, if you wanted something cheezy, I would have loaded your fajitas with cheese," The moonbloom hybrid sarcastically joked with a roll of his eyes, lightly mocking the other's choice of a movie.
"I have my ways." would be how Sapnap usually answered that question, but he didn't answer this time, and laughed softly at his lover's words. "Pffft! Your cooking distracted me, shush!" He huffed lightly at him, knowing that Punz wouldn't take it too seriously as he leaned back and sighed quietly. He just felt contented, putting one arm around the other as he closed his eyes and continued to eat. Punz's cooking was amazing.
"Uuuuh-huh, as if I'll believe that," Punz continued to jest away, his tail contently and happily swishing at his side, staying as he was leaned up against the other for a few moments whilst eating. "You sure my cooking distracted you and not me?" The mercenary inquired playfully as he raised a brow, setting his plate atop the coffee table nearby before hoisting himself up, sliding back into the kitchen. "I'm a very sexy fella, I can understand if you were too distracted by staring at yours truly," He continued with a laugh as he poured himself a drink.
"No, I'm not sure at all, babe." He called to him just to try and tease him back, leaning back and setting his food down. Sapnap had taken Punz's words as a challenge, and he was determined to win. He placed his hands behind his head casually as he looked over at him, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. "You're right, you're pretty sexy. More appetizing than the food most of the time, I'd love to sink my teeth into your neck." He grinned at him as he rested his head on his hand, snickering internally.
Punz glanced over at Sapnap with his pale blue eyes while he sipped away at his drink, momentarily raising a brow. He hadn't intended for it to sound like a challenge, but by no means was he going to back down from it, the moonbloom hybrid determined to win himself. "Is that so?" He asked rhetorically with amusement laced in his voice. He hopped atop a counter and pristinely sat, purposefully sitting still and looking pretty. The mercenary held his head high as a slight sign of his cockiness, his ears and tail flicking very so every often. "Who says I'd let you even get the chance?"
Sapnap grinned softly before standing up and walking up to him, placing his hands on either side of the hybrid. He seemed about ready to make good on his 'threat', seeming to size him up a bit for a moment before chuckling. "Because you know you can't resist me, flower. I'm just that good." He wasn't really that conceited, but he was trying to make light of the situation as much as he was trying to win the challenge.
Punz hummed, raising his free hand up to pat at one of the other's cheeks. "Maybe not, but it's a two-way street hun," He stated with a slight grin, sipping at his drink poured over ice once more before playfully pushing Sapnap away. "Now shoo, shoo, you and any flammable substance anywhere near each other can cost me dearly, so begone, arson boy." Punz reminded, swishing around what was left of his beloved smooth whiskey, pretending to take more concern over it than Sapnap.
Sapnap pretended to be offended, putting a hand over his chest and scoffing softly as he stepped back. "How could you? After everything I do for you, this is how you treat me?" He turned his back on him and huffed as he walked back into the living room, "Well, fine! I guess I'll go change, since you don't want to be close to me." He then wandered into their room, searching through the dresses and skirts he had while humming to himself. He wanted to try and fluster Punz at least a little.
"Yeaaaah, that's what I thought, you keep on walkin'!" Punz hollered back in the crappiest New Yorker accent he had, laughing to himself as he knew it was only fun and games. His tail wagged happily as he leaned over and poured himself another drink after finishing off what was in his glass, humming contently to himself as he waited for Sapnap to return. He knew the other would, or had a hunch he would, so he stayed seated atop the kitchen counter, his eyes stuck and glued in the direction of their room.
Sapnap chose a skirt in Punz's favorite color, suspenders and a white sweater, putting the sweater over the suspenders and skirt before walking into the kitchen again. "Puuunnzzzz, I want a drink toooo! It's not fair that you get all of it." He whined a bit, reaching out and flicking the glass in the moonbloom hybrid's hand as he huffed. "I want some."
Punz eyed the outfit that he came out wearing, blaming his feint redness on the alcohol, which wasn't a half-bad excuse. He slid off the countertop quickly, "Yeah, yeah, I hear you. One whiskey over rocks coming right up, sir." The mercenary joked with a grin, setting his glass aside for the time being to make Sapnap's drink, putting it together with as much flare as a showy bartender had. He truly was a jack of all trades after all; he pushed the glass towards Sapnap once he was finished, going back to sipping his own.
He took it and quietly took a sip as he leaned against the counter, closing his eyes calmly while humming to himself. Sapnap knew exactly what he was doing, and having fun doing it. Why not, he reasoned, if they were still trying to out-flirt one another? He quietly hoisted himself up onto the counter after a moment, looking over at him before smirking softly. "Hi."
"'Ello," Punz responded, looking up at Sapnap for a moment before glancing away in the attempt to keep his cocky and playful attitude rather than melt on spot. Nope, he wasn't going to cave nearly that easy after a few drinks, the moonbloom hybrid was sure of it. Maybe. "White and gold look good on you, you should wear them more often," He commented with a swish of his tail, his finger tracing loosely around the rim on his glass.
He smirked lightly at him before leaning back, crossing one leg over the other. "Aww, thank you. Everything looks good on me, but I appreciate it." He chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it out a bit. He made a mental note that he needed to get a haircut soon, and moved to lightly snatch the bottle of whiskey before pouring it into his own glass and taking another slow sip.
The mercenary slowly hummed in acknowledgement, "I'm going to pretend as if you didn't just say that and that I didn't indulge in your ego." He jested in his state of slightly tipsy stupor. He then began trotting his way over to the couch before laying down on it, not caring that he ate up all; if not, most; of the immediately available space. "Saaappitus Nappitus," Punz cooed out, making a grabby hand towards the other as if he wanted him to come over.
He rolled his eyes at the nickname before walking over and kneeling by the couch, leaning in. "Hi~" He teased slightly as he nuzzled his nose, letting out the softest of purrs in happiness. Of course, he was trying not to flirt with him too much because he was tipsy, just deciding to make little jokes here and there.
Punz's ears pointed upwards upon hearing soft purrs as if he became protectively alert. Though, the reality was that he was having a mental battle to stop himself from clumsily mooing, his sober self screaming at him to not open his mouth because he knew he would never be able to live it down. His tipsy self seemed to have other plans, however, as he began to happily moo in response to the nuzzle his nose received, a bright smile plastered to his face.
"Awww, haha!" Sapnap quietly cooed as he scooped his lover up into his arms, letting Punz feel the soft fabric of his sweater as he wandered off to their room with him. He'd tease Punz about it later, for now, he just wanted to be close to him. As if to encourage him to do it more, he nuzzled him again as he continued to purr happily, holding him close and sitting on their bed with Punz. "I love you."
Punz snuggled closer, his ears standing propped up atop his head as he softly huffed and grunted, forgetting English existed for a quick second. His moonbloom hybrid self couldn't help but continue mooing, such an act being too deep-rooted in his nature that he had no choice but to let it happen, even if he found it embarrassing. "I love mOO too," The mercenary tried to say, getting half-way interrupted by himself. He was glad he couldn't see himself in a mirror at the moment, knowing all too well how red he was at the moment.
He let out a soft chuckle and quietly flopped backwards onto the bed, pulling him down alongside him in order to cuddle with him. This was the sort of thing he loved doing with Punz, just cuddling with him. If he got him like this, it made him happy. He was very very happy at the moment, being slightly tipsy and that making him a bit too smug to himself about being able to be witness to this.
Punz lightly bit his tongue to keep himself from mooing any further, embarrassed enough as it was. Instead, he let his instincts and nature calm down whilst he cuddled up to Sapnap, without nuzzling though. That seemed to be a trigger, he noted. "Hey, Sap, guess what." He muttered out after a few moments, finally trusting his voice enough to speak once more. The moonbloom hybrid paused before continuing what he was saying, "...I don't work tomorrow." Punz stated, such a fact being such a rarity that it typically only happened for holidays or special events. "Do you wanna do anything by chance?"
Sapnap cheered happily as he kissed him, hugging him tightly as he playfully nipped at his lip. "Maybeeee..." He hummed out, starting to purr louder while grinning at him. "But you'll have to find out what I want to do, Puunnzzz." He teased before rolling over and grabbing the blankets, hiding himself under them.
Punz blinked, eyeing the bundle of Sapnap hiding under blankets before grinning. He swiftly hopped atop the other, tugging at the blankets in the attempt to get him to stop hiding while his tail wagged happily. "Oiii! If you don't tell the money man what'chu want, how am I supposed to know what you wanna do? Or even get for that matter!" He exclaimed, trying to 'defend his case' and pry the information he wanted out of him.
"Nooo! You'll see laterrr." He lightly curled up as he huffed softly, the blanket warming up a bit with Sapnap's breath as he peeked one eye out. "You're a dork." He grumbled from inside it and reached out to poke Punz's nose. He wondered if Punz's nose was a general trigger for good things like mooing and cuddles, so he was trying to test that hypothesis. Be all scientific like Karl was.
Punz blinked, glancing between his poked nose and what little of un-covered Sapnap he could see. It didn't seem like his nose being poked had any effects immediately; his ear calmly flicked. "No I'm no-" He was cut off by a slightly louder, more natural-sounding mooing, blinking once again. Yep, that was confirmation enough to the both of them that his nose acted as a trigger, and he was quick to cover it with a hand.
Sapnap's eyes sparkled a bit as he gasped, flipping Punz under him and grinning as the blanket fell off of him. "YESSS- I knew itt!!" He grinned excitedly as he held him down gently, leaning in and trying to move his hand. "Come onnnn, let me get your noseee"
"NooooOO!!" Punz whined, keeping his hand firmly covering his nose and mouth as he tried his utter playful best to escape Sapnap's clutches. "You can take my money! You can take my gold! But no touching my nose!! You already have material to tease me about later, so why must you have my nose too?!" He dramatically exclaimed, accidentally pushing down on his nose a little too much, thus letting out a loud moo.
Sapnap continued to softly hold him down, kissing his hand quietly as he chuckled and grinned. "Because I love all of youuuuu!!!" He hummed out truthfully, although it was partially to see if he could fluster him into letting go of his nose.
Punz mooed once more before huffing and quietly grumbling to himself, knowing that if he wasn't already as red as paint, he would most likely be now. He simply flipped Sapnap off with his spare hand, refusing to move the other one. "Go fuck yourself, Sap. You're not getting my nose; not now, not later, not even in a hundred, million years. N e v e r."
Punz visibly and mentally recoiled, for some reason having not expected for that to be the answer that got shot back at him. His ears fell flat to the sides of his face as he blinked, unable to provide much more of an audible response other than cow-ish huffs and soft grunts.
Sapnap moved close with him again, a bit concerned. "Sorry, sorry..." He whispered softly, looking away after a moment as he sighed. "Damn it, I'm sorry, Punz, I didn't think." He mumbled out as he made a finger tappy motion.
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