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ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪғ ɪᴛs ᴀ ʟɪᴇ

By kshahidx

Replies: 37 / 65 days ago

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  1. [Allowed] seka

[center [pic https://i.imgur.com/VjjfSvT.png]]
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[center [size27 [Homemade+Apple Even if it's a Lie]]
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[font times After a blind date goes incredibly well Christopher Davis and Jenna Hansen's relationship is off to a good star. Six months in and they both move in with one another, seemingly in the right place of their careers: her a journalist and him a photographer. Being so in love, it's not long before he proposes. Though, as the honeymoon phase starts to fade, the couple find that love does require work. They both truly care for one another, but have different ideas on just where they will be in their future. After a blowout argument leads to a breakup, the couple think that maybe fate did its part and they have to accept it.

Until two years later they bump into one another, now working on a project together. She's changed and so has he. There is a spark there Chris believes. The downfall? Jenna's engaged. As they reconnect while working on this project, one thing becomes clear: they never stopped loving one another. But can love conquer a newly healed heart? Can Jenna forgive Chris for leaving her?]]


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Jenna’s nails dug into the palms of her hands as he spoke and a lump in her chest slowly worked its way up her throat until she had to intentionally avoid the burning behind her eyes. It was supposed to be [i them,] but Chris made it about [i him] and was the cause of their demise. Rightfully so she did have to take some blame for not following him there. It was a convoluted situation but blaming him had helped her move on in the aftermath of their demise. Now, with him staring back at her with those soulful, pained eyes it took everything in her to not shatter. Had she been foolish to think thye could work together? He was like a walking photo album of memories; some good and some painfully, [i painfully] awful. She gulped down some of her drink, bypassing the straw this time and trying her best to not lose herself. This was her opportunity to show Chris everything that he could have waited for, however it left her with the biggest question: [i Why do you even care?]
She had said quiet a lot when they broke up, but didn’t feel she was as clear and assertive as she could have been. Why did it have to be that Chris was presenting an opportunity for her to do just with the conflicting backdrop of their now working relationship. She wanted to say more but packed it away and decided that the past maybe was better off in the past. [i If only a small part of her didn’t desperately miss the man who—for the majority of their relationship—made her feel the most secure and loved.] It was near proof to the young journalist that even the most fairytale romances can crumble. Made her wonder what the famous couples of Disney looked like ten-years after their movies. Likely Snow White decided she was independent and missed her friends, or Prince Charming dipped out enticed by some pretty lady at court, or maybe even Prince Phillip and Aurora realized they had fundamental differences that resulted in constant arguing and a life full of unhappiness. Jenna twirled the ring on her finger again, momentarily doubting her own story now with Levi; would it be any different?

“Yeah, I suppose pretending it was just a dream wasn’t a good idea,” Jenna mused in response while she reached out for a jalapeno pepper herself, hoping he didn’t mind her intrusion. When the waiter returned for a refill for Chris, Jenna added another for herself. Could her day have gone any worse? Levi wouldn’t be home for the third weekend in a row, and she was sitting across from her ex-fiance feeling a pang of guilt over their previous circumstances and separation. If there was a narrator writing their story, she wished they’d cut to the chase and cursed them for their unwelcomed creative liberties. Why couldn’t this be another Disney film? Why couldn’t that be real and possible for her and Levi? She hoped it was, but uncertainty prickled up her spine and danced over her chest.

His words of encouragement and praise made her feel warm anyway, conflicting with the emotional turmoil she was feeling that day. Even with everything, compliments from Chris still made her feel like a 16-year-old girl being hit on by her jock crush. [I What is wrong with me?] She brushed back strands of her mauve pink hair that started to fall over her shoulder and into her food before she took a few bites of her food and they ate in silence for a few minutes. It was a welcomed excuse to pause the chatter and fill the silence until he mentioned work and Jenna nodded vigorously. She had a mouthful of her food and took a moment to swallow before taking a deep breath. Change of topic, [i perfect.]

“Yeah, good idea,” Jenna took a sip of her drink to wash away the remnants of her bite. “I’m guessing we could do weekly restaurants or the next couple of weeks on like Monday afternoons and then work together on Thursday or Friday’s to do the editing. Depending on my schedule it may have to be after hours,” she paused to let that sink in. Lord, Kate couldn’t hire help faster. “Then maybe the weekend before the draft is due for the magazine, we could meet for final touches? Hopefully we’ll have more staff on soon and this won’t be such a hassle, sorry about that…” She apologized, recognizing that from the professional side of things, they weren’t exactly teeming with it. Kate and Jenna were professional in their own right, but as far as their payroll, there were far less employees than most of California likely believe. “I’m sure you were surprised to find that most of the work is done by Kate and I and a handful of editors,” Jenna chuckled. “Humble brag I guess,” she added. “So anyway, that sound alright?”
Jenna Hansen / Seka / 21h ago
“There wasn’t supposed to be an option, it was just supposed to be [I us].” Them against the world. Them against his own doubt s that he could be the man that Jenna wanted the man that he seemingly was afraid to be with any other girl and yet here he had become vulnerable and it had backfired. His intentions had only been muddled by his career, but his love for Jenna was as clear as ever and he had thought maybe that would be enough for her. why didn’t she trust him as much as he trusted her with his heart? Wasn’t that what love was about? It could be chaotic and mean being impulsive at times btu it was constant. How did she feel about him? Were her feelings not as strong for him then as he thought? She’d moved to San Francisco after all, barely a two hour flight from the place he had planned for them to build a life together.

“Yeah easy, I guess that’s the word. Though you’re the one engaged after all, ready to spend the rest of your life with this guy.” He eagerly washed away the dryness in his mouth with the rest of the beer, an uncomfortable lump in his throat as the carbonated drink passed through. Maybe he wasn’t ready for this conversation after all. Or maybe it was best that things were just left unsaid; like the pictures of their engagement, perhaps it was okay that their relationship remain an antique sitting on a shelf and collecting dust in the attic of their minds.

As though sensing the tension, their waiter scurried about and tended to his other tables on the floor. Though eventually he arrived with their orders. There was some kind of mix-up, the appetizers arriving the same time as the food and he knew from Jenna’s history of being a server it’s something she would’ve commented on.
His anger sizzled on the surface, but he was proud of himself for keeping it handled. Honestly though, Chris knew that he wasn’t angry, he was upset – sad even. While his flings had soothed his sense of loneliness, making it easier to forget Jenna in those moments, it didn’t heal those wounds. Sitting across from her now proved that.

“I just wanted us to get it out in the open,” he suggested as he reached for a jalapeño popper. The soft texture of the cream cheese spread against his tongue pleasantly, though when the waiter came back to check on them he had made sure to order another beer. A stronger drink seemed much more desirable, but he did have to drive home. Besides, he could save getting drunk for when he was in the suite alone. “We’ve both seemed to find our footing. I’m happy for you Jenna. Really happy.” Eating allowed for temporary rest between the two, maybe a way to collect their words. He didn’t want to go back on this conversation though and he was glad they worked together instead of this being a causal outing after just bumping into one another on the street.

“So, how about we go over our schedule? Maybe set up a time to edit.” The words seemed to dribble out then, almost flat but he tried to be somewhat enthusiastic. While things between them didn’t work out, there was always passion to be found in his work, Chris had found.
Jenna shifted in her seat as the tension built up in that prolonged moment before he responded to her. Of course, he couldn’t swipe that under the rug. Her comment was direct and irreversible. She blinked slowly a few times and took a longer swig of her rum and Coke hoping to drowned out the resentment that was beginning to bubble beneath her skin. Instinctively her thumb curled into her palm to twist the engagement ring on her finger; far different than the beautiful one that Chris had picked out for her. All little girls dream of their weddings, but even more so the proposal. But Jenna hadn’t paid much mind to it most of her childhood. Sure she’d love a knight in shining armor, or a dapper young man on a horse saving her from a forced marriage, but as far as contemporary romance went, Jenna honestly didn’t think anyone would ever be brave enough to propose to her. Or be in love with her. If only she could have gone back in time a decade to tell 16-year-old Jenna that she’d end up being proposed to [i twice.] She surely wouldn’t be alive today because she would have died on the spot in disbelief.

Emotions were swirling in her stomach and she prickled with something close to irritation and contempt at his response. Memories were playing like a movie reel in her mind—over and over and over. She looked down into the glass, closely watching the nearly melted ice-cubes trying to float; much like her when he’d left her. There was maybe a bit of guilt slithering up her spine, but most of it was just irritation. And words—words she’d never truly got the chance to say. Would they fall on deaf ears now? Her lips parted prepared to say something more—to defend herself once again—but Chris diverted and it left Jenna staring down again at the new ring.
Honestly, it wasn’t much of her taste; a one carat cluster with a silver band. Chris’ had been much simpler, less gaudy and more Jenna. A simple, thin rose-gold band with a half carat Florella diamond much more suited the young journalist, and Chris knew just as much. Her tears of joy were validation alone that night at the skating rink, something she’d never forget. Looking down at Levi’s left her feeling empty and devoid; the proposal was less than romantic but she had thought the casualness of it was something to remember. He hadn’t even really proposed, more so mentioned it at dinner with friends. When they questioned whether he proposed or was proposing, he had simply answered yes and that was that. Jenna didn’t ever truly get to agree to it, not that she would have rejected the man. She was in love with him, it was just a slow burning flame compared to the engorging fire that threatened to envelope both Chris and Jenna during their time.

“It’s not like I had any other option—[i I wasn’t going to wait forever,”] the sprite murmured the last bit of her admittance and shifted again in her seat, reposition her legs to cross at the ankles beneath the table. One boot vigorously shook and the small sound of her leather boots tapping against each other could be barely heard as the sound permeated up from beneath the table. She looked up at him then but quickly averted her gaze to the side of his face, looking just beyond his shoulder at a waitress scurrying around. Her dead eyes watch the woman’s frantic movements, wondering whether honesty hour should pass or continue. Chris was clearly trying to lighten the mood, but for some reason it irritated Jenna even more. To downgrade their situation and the turmoil she had felt for nearly a year, lost and adrift in an endless, bottomless sea was no [I ‘just getting over it’.] “I’m sure it was easy for you, though,” her thoughts drifted to the [i friend] he had mentioned earlier. There was something in his eyes that told her otherwise, but whether her speculation was out of displaced jealousy or morbid curiosity she didn’t know.
Either way, Chris had proved that his adventure had panned out for him, and Jenna had now proven that she was capable of changing—and moving—and he had missed out on it all. Maybe it was just a case of bad timing… Jenna took another longer swig of the drink through the miniscule, petite straw that was placed in it, and then her fingers move to swirl the contents around, the last of the ice cubes melting. After all of that, she could hardly meet his gaze now.
Jenna Hansen / Seka / 2d ago
“Sam ol’ same ol’,” he commented as he watched her reach for her drink. He was glad to see that Jenna still had some of her old habits. That included not being able to handle being put on the spot. He still could imagine the look on her face when he had proposed to her.

He had meant for it to be special and had Delia not helped out, there were some critical details he was sure that he would’ve missed out on. He had been a bit distant that month which was unlike Chris. While he could get distracted by work and sometimes would put certain things off for a photoshoot or an event he would have to work, there weren’t any times that if Jenna asked, he would just drop everything. Los Angeles was a different story of course. by then, Chris had gotten a bit more confident in his work and he felt like leaving Seattle didn’t take a moment to even think about unlike Jenna.

He dug through her jewelry, well the little she had, messaging Delia a million times with picture after picture of the perfect ring. Jenna had never seen like the type of girl fascinated by big diamonds and flashy pieces, so choosing something subtle that still had the grand charm to know that it was a piece purely selected by Chris and not the jewelry was a bit hard. Eventually he was satisfied and for weeks he treasured the black satin box, hidden the only place he would trust it to be: his camera bag. Every time he opened it, he stared down and thought about that moment. What would she say? Or do? Was it too soon for them to be thinking about getting engaged. They were both still working hard to sustain themselves financially and a wedding just seemed like too much – especially for the overthinking woman before him.

Yet, he finally settled. It was just after February when the weather was a still a bit cold and they had the highest snowfall. He had taken her to this outdoor skating rink, filled with couples and families, enjoying remnants of a winter wonderland. He’d made it out to seem like a friendly outing, just them and a couple of friends enjoying some time out from work before they would head to Jenna’s favorite restaurant to warm up with drinks and food after escaping the cold. Surprisingly he had been running hot the whole time and it had nothing to do with the skating or the Jameson he’d drank from Grady’s flask in an attempt to ease his nerves. The rink was nearing empty, just as he wanted, children waddling like little penguins after their parents and off the rink.

Jenna was making her way out too when he grabbed her hand, drawing her close to him. He smiled down at her, giggling slightly, the liquor loosening him up. On the outside, one of his photographer friends Cassie had joined along to capture the moment, pictures that still sat untouched on his hardrive. Small puffs of air escaped between his lips as he said her name.
“You know when Delia told me she had a friend she wanted me to meet, you know what she said to me? She said, [I ‘trust me Chris, you’re going to love her’].” Chris swallowed then, his hand resting against her face while the other discreetly moved from her hip to the pocket of his North Face puffer jacket. “And you know she was right. I do love you, more than I think I ever counted on.”

Chris carefully had bent down, his balance a little off then and he was sure by now it was clear exactly what his intentions were. With his black gloves on, he was a bit clumsy in opening the box but finally did, presenting it to Jenna.
“So, Jenna Hansen, would you please please say yes to becoming Mrs. Jenna Riley? And preferably, before my nuts freeze off,” he joked. Though the moment was sentimental to him. It still was special to him no matter how it turned out.

Her reaction was hilarious and he couldn’t help the eye crinkling grin that crossed his face. Though that good feeling only lasted for so long. Honestly, he himself was nearly close to choking on his beer at her response. Her rolled his tongue in his mouth, ducking his head then in a bit of embarrassment. Of course, they weren’t going to be able to laugh about the situation. This wasn’t like he had awkwardly disappeared after a one night stand, or stood her up on a first date. He’d walked out on her, his fiancé.

“Well it’s not like you gave me much of a choice Jen,” he said in that brief moment of silence where she seemed almost apologetic for her words. Yet, it was too late now and he was sure his words only added fuel to the timid fire between them. He reached for the glass then, his knuckles a bit white as he gripped the sweating glass a bit tighter. He took a much bigger sip of the beer, cradling it in his mouth before swallowing. If there was one thing that was going to happen, it was not blowing up at Jenna here in the bar or at all. He had no desire to fight with her. “Besides, looks light you got over it just fine am I right?” his eyes flickered toward the ring, his head nodding toward it for acknowledgement.

Chris sighed out, he had already skipped step one of his anger management lessons: think before you speak. He just hoped that he wouldn’t need to go through the list any more during this conversation, unless Jenna was already through with it.
Jenna couldn’t help herself, her eyes peered over at Chris when he was busying himself with taking off his coat on the way to the table. Her eyes rested on his forehead where she could barely see the small scar he had been referring to. She could nearly feel the groove beneath her fingers and they curled under the table as if they were touching his forehead now to follow the outline. She tore her eyes away when she realized her eyes had moved to his forearms and his chest—she didn’t want to be caught red-handed checking him out. [i Oh god, Jenna, get it together.] Her body temperature was increasing and they hadn’t even indulged in alcohol just yet so she couldn’t use that as the scapegoat of Chris’ effect on her. The young journalist had to admit—her ex-fiance was [i handsome,] and he’d gotten better with age, too.
She didn’t have on a sweater other than her cardigan and she cursed her unpreparedness knowing full-well the chill would drape over the city as soon as dusk passed. She shifted in her seat and bit the inside of her lip while resting her wallet and phone on the table to her left. With work being over Jenna realized that this was strictly a social dinner. Before she could chalk it up to work, but now there was no excuse. The pink-haired woman was simply having an alcoholic beverage with her ex-fiancé—[i totally normal thing.]

The waiter or bartender, whatever he was, rested a couple of drink napkins on the table when he greeted their table. Her old work experienced led her some insight; he was leaving the napkins to alert the staff that he’d been there and they’d been helped. She smiled over at Chris, wondering if he remembered her horror stories as a waitress in highschool. It wasn’t exactly Jenna’s calling, that’s for sure. She was far too clumsy for a high-stress, physical job. Her hand extended onto the table and her fingers fidgeted with the napkin corner awaiting her drink she’d ordered. She kept it simple with a Captain and Coke and wondered if Chris remembered her favorite drink as it hadn’t changed. Jenna didn’t drink a lot, but when she did she avoided the girly [I fru-fru] drinks. Some would argue it’s because she wanted to look [i cool,] but truthfully, they just tended to be cheaper and had more liquor. [I Might as well get more bang for your buck. ]
“I’m glad,” she smiled up at him genuinely this time. Kate was her best friend here, although she still caught up with Delia on hour-long phone-calls at least monthly since she’d moved from Seattle. She came through San Fran a lot, too. Jenna wondered if she’d met the both of them and didn’t have the where-with-all to tell either of them she had. Would have been smart to avoid the topic; once Jenna put the pieces back together, with the help of Levi especially, she really wasn’t interested in Chris. Of course her thoughts occasionally lingered on the charming man, but she came to understand that she’d never be able to move on fully if she was constantly keep up on his life. She had to leave him behind completely to take any steps forward; and then, here he was in all his glory.

Jenna pushed her pink tresses behind her shoulder and heaved a sigh, trying to cross her legs and find something to fill in the silence. She found her hands on the water the waiter had brought, too, at his first stop. Her lips closed around the straw and she looked down at the black surface of the table when the waiter brought her back to the here-and-now with their drinks. “Wow that was quick,” Jenna thought out loud and slid the glass closer to her to take a sip. It was refreshing and much needed after the day. [i Levi—god damn it. Should you really be surprised?] Jenna rhetorically asked herself and took another swig before practically choking on the sip when he blurted out the question she’d been avoiding the past few days. “Jesus!” She shrieked through a couple coughs. Her hand was on her chest and tears rose in her eyes, and this time she shot a piercing gaze at him. “Could ya stop doing that?” She shook her head but did stop with a brief smirk. He always was good at making her choke—[i oh boy, stop thinking about him naked. Stop it. ]

“Uh... Well, I think it’s pretty obvious she doesn’t,” Jenna carefully picked out her words but there was no point in lying to Chris. It was best they had this conversation anyway… They needed to get on the same page. If Kate was to find out—which eventually she would—Jenna wanted to be the one to break the news. “What’s there to tell, anyways? That we were engaged and you left me alone in our apartment to figure it all out?” The questions popped out without her trying to and she bit hard on the inside of her cheek; she could taste the iron from the blood but she realized that was likely the wrong choice. She was genuinely surprised by her own words; they were reflexive and she realized then that maybe there were still some things left that she never got to say before. But now wasn't a good time... if there even was one, was it? Maybe recovery was best… or maybe, maybe he needed to hear it. [i What the fuck are you doing?] She was caught in her conflicting emotions when her habit spoke for her and she mumbled: [i “Sorry, nevermind..."]
Jenna Hansen / Seka / 3d ago
As they walked along the street, Chris had his hands in his pockets, struggling to keep them there. He had the urge to wrap his arms around Jenna as he had often done. Holding her against his side, and despite how small she was, feeling this giant burst of warmth that would emanate from her. instead, he had to settle for the soft brushing of their sides as they walked together.

Bringing up Luna had been a good way to change the subject. He also knew it was something that would get Jenna perked up after the conversation she had with who he presumed to eb her fiancé, he thought she seemed a little down in the dumps. Like usual, Luna was easily able to bring a smile to anyone’s face. She was both the comforting calm kitty willing to listen to your problems and in cases of the pictures Jenna showed, she had the silliest personality as well. Chris couldn’t help the little snort he made at seeing the terrified look on the face of the pug as Luna loomed in the distance. He remembered how there would be times Jenna would just send him a random picture throughout the day. Some of them, he admittedly still kept. Though there were a few of her that he had deleted, in good conscience, but against his [I wanting] to.

His cheeks flushed red when the image of Jenna in the bathtub emerged, and admittedly he had stared for the whole duration until Jenna quickly put her phone away. He looked to the side, a large smile on his face. Though, in his mind he was going back and forth about whether it smart to wonder if that was something she had taken for herself or had sent to Levi at some point.
“Well some things never change, pretty sure I still have a scar from where she gripped me after I saved her from the kitchen sink.” He had warned her balance skills would one day fail her. though Luna had still been pretty young at this point and definitely eager to get into trouble as she explored the small apartment. He’d his back turned for only a second before turning to find the cat jumping out of the barely filled sink. It had been humorous at the time and the scar was a little memory he had of the cat that he had left with Jenna.

He was already removing the coat as they entered the establishment, expecting to warm up as soon as they got comfortable at their table. It wasn’t as packed as most bars could get, but it was still early in the season which was possibly why the atmosphere seemed more than usual. He didn’t mind after such a long day and it would make it easier to have a conversation with Jenna without having to yell over loud and rambunctious crowds. He stared at the black leather menu, opening it up to peruse the different drinks offered by the establishment.

A young man had approached them then, introducing himself to them as Craig their waiter. He took their drink orders and left some menus before disappearing. Chris realized how much hungrier he was now that there were options in front of him. With Jenna not expecting to do anything for the weekend, he presumed it wouldn’t be too much of a bad thing to stay out a little late. Though, he didn’t want to assume she had no plans, no matter how well he knew her.

“I like her,” he said as he fiddled then with the paper from the straw for his water. He took a sip, grateful to ease his dry throat “She seems like a great boss. I mean she has good taste obviously,” he bragged playfully, throwing a wink in her direction. He looked around then, grateful the waiter was returning with their drinks. He placed them down and accepted their order; Chris wasn’t lying when he said he was hungry. He made sure to order what he figured was their favorite appetizer and decided on the western burger and fries. When they were alone again and Chris had a satisfying sip of the crisp Stella he finally decided to take the leap. “I don’t suppose she knows about you and me right?” Did anyone? Or like Chris, did Jenna try her hardest not to bring up that part of their life.
Jenna followed Chris, holding her bag tightly around her side and wondering what she was getting herself into. She couldn’t help it, she had noticed that he had a habit of making her feel this way—at least today. She couldn’t even truly blame him, Jenna realized, because it was her that chose him. His photography was perfect and even Kate agreed, she had been drawn to him before she even knew it was his portfolio she was flipping through. But she had to question whether there was favoritism involved, did she just subconsciously still know Chris’ aesthetic and was drawn him like a moth to a flame without trying. The journalist was worried about how her boss would feel about her hidden conflict-of-interest, but hoped that if she found out later after they’d proven themselves, that it wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Networking was, after-all, a part of this world. This wasn’t a medical facility, it was a different world, so maybe Jenna’s fear was misplaced completely after-all.

When they reached his car, she decided she would place her things inside his front seat, mentally noting the clean interior. It was definitely a rental, she doubted Chris’ car would be this spotless although people change. It seemed like a safer bet to keep her laptop in the car, especially if they were having a couple drinks and it was in the evening. Her entire life was on the hard drive of that computer and she couldn’t lose or break it or she would be [i screwed.] A fleeting thought passed through her mind about whether she would choose to let him bring her home or if she would walk herself. She felt safe in most parts of San Francisco and a car ride with her ex-fiance seemed incredibly uncomfortable, but the train could be creepy at night as well as the dark roads. Jenna knew how to drive, and Levi and her shared a vehicle since they didn’t always need it in a place with such ample culture and transportation, but she’d really started to hate the fact that he kept it with him. Apparently, they would be getting a tour bus soon but lately they’d just been traveling in their SUV pulling a trailer with their equipment. It was quite the unprofessional situation but their manager had promised that within the next month or so, they’d be riding high-class in a fancy tour bus. Jenna hoped it was true and not more lip service by Levi and his manager.

She only held her wallet now, the small wrist strap around her wrist in case anyone tried to take off with it. Oddly enough, she felt secure with Chris; despite their past, she knew most people would steer clear of his bulky physique. They rarely got taunted or teased, and most guys had known better than to try and place a hand on her. She grew up wanting a knight in shining armor, but had quickly realized that the likelihood of that naïve dream was pretty low, until she met Chris and that’s exactly how he felt to her. Her own personal guardian; someone who she was [i so] special to, they’d do anything to protect her. She always hoped she could give him something similar in return but probably failed. Jenna was a petite thing so physical fights weren’t on her side, but she hoped he felt loved and appreciated. She flushed at the thought, her eyes scanning the parking ramp around her until they broke out onto the street and the light from sundown was coating the street in orange and golden hues.
“Luna? Same as ever!” Jenna breathed and then giggled, reaching into the back pocket of her dark skinny jeans to fish out her phone. She punched in her passcode to find a few recent pictures of her. “This one I caught her sleeping completely on her back,” Jenna giggled and stopped to search for another one and show him. “Oh, and this one was when we dog-sat for the neighbor and Luna had it out for their little Pug, Buddy. She was not a fan,” Jenna laughed at the memory of it, looking at the picture herself where Luna was on top of the island in their apartment extending an arm down to smack Buddy in the nose. Jenna had taken several so she flipped through a few of them to show Chris, but went one too far and exposed a picture of her in the bathtub. Luna was sitting at the corner near her shoulder with a paw in the water. There were lots of bubbles, and nothing was exposed, but it seemed like such an intimate picture that after a prolonged second Jenna retracted her extended phone. That was definitely a picture she would have sent to Chris at one point—maybe she even had. “She—uh—she also likes bath water, but won’t get in it,” Jenna chuckled in an attempt to recover.

There were a couple people standing outside the bar and grill smoking cigarettes as the two of them approached it. Jenna passed by them quietly, holding the door open behind her for Chris to come through. Once inside, the hostess quickly sat them at a nearby table. Jenna normally disliked tables but this wasn’t so bad; they had access to ever TV in the room, even if she didn’t exactly like sports, it was something to watch and pretend to be interested in instead of having to deal with the weirdness of this dinner. Then again, Chris wasn’t some stranger, he used to know her like the back of his hand; he knew she didn’t much have time for sports and she mashed her lips together and sighed.
“So, what do you think of Kate?”
Jenna Hansen / Seka / 9d ago
Chris hadn’t heard the conversation in its entirety, but he knew when Jenna was upset and trying to hide it. Sadly, with their time apart, Chris had begun to see many time she had put himself before Jenna and their relationship. though when he proposed to her, he thought that she knew that he was serious about being committed to her. As he went through his anger management courses though, Chris started noting all the times he had just [I expected] Jenna to go along with anything he said or did and if not he could always make up for it. Ending the engagement had been something that couldn’t be fixed though on account of him leaving. It was the first time though that Jenna had seemingly stood up to him.

Chris was glad that she accepted, but he wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t notice how she hesitated before eventually acquiescing under the guise that they could get some work done – it wasn’t really a casual hangout in her eyes if they talked about work. That was fine with him since technically his choice topic of discussion would deal with their professional relationship. Though, now Chris was debating if it was a good time to bring things up – Jenna already seemed a bit deflated from the conversation. Maybe things would pick up over dinner and drinks. All Chris knew was he wasn’t going to back out of talking about this. the sooner they dealt with their past, the better.

“Sounds good. After being cooped up inside for so long, I could definitely use some fresh air. You want to put anything in my car? You know I can take you home too.” He wasn’t sure if she drove or took the bus or even BART home. However, he wasn’t going to let her go anywhere by herself at night, he would be worrying his whole drive back to his place if he did so. Not to mention, there was some part of him that was genuinely curious to see just where she and Levi stayed.

“I just want to lock my camera away,” Chris said as he made his way toward the parking structure and eventually to his car. He locked the camera bag in the trunk then, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. It was much chillier at night, but he welcomed the breeze. Chris thought about what to say when they began their walk. He didn’t want to bring up work just yet, planning on saving that as his escape plan for when they were at the bar. He also felt like bringing up her fiancé would be a bad idea.
“So how’s my little baby gato?” Chris smiled as he looked toward Jenna. Getting Luna wasn’t exactly planned, especially considering Chris was not really a cat guy. But Jenna had dropped enough hints plenty of times and after a fight, he figured maybe she would be more lenient toward [I punishing] him with silence – it was a bribe, a very fluffy and adorable bribe that he knew she couldn’t say no to. He had never been a cat person honestly, but Luna had grown on him. While he loved her dearly, she always seemed to be Jenna’s cat.
Jenna wondered how much of her conversation Chris had overheard, but she had to assume everything and if not, he definitely got the gist. The elevator wasn’t very big and it was a torturous physical echo chamber. Her ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ mechanism in her brain had definitely chosen [i ‘flee’] and she had every intention of taking off for the exit. She was also still reeling from their day together and the icing-on-top was Levi’s news. For some reason he grew farther and farther away, a distance growing between them that she couldn’t rein in no matter how hard she tried. The day had become too much and she felt her eyes threatened by tears behind them. Of all weekends, this was the one she could have [i really] used him. She hadn’t told him much about Chris, and all he really knew was that Jenna was engaged. He didn’t know to whom or the real details of the split, and he honestly hadn't pried but was just there for her instead.

They had met shortly after she had moved to San Francisco when she was doing an article on the underground music scene of San Francisco, a diverse and expansive part of San Francisco’s personality and obviously a must for the budding magazine. It had just been starting out then and Levi swooped in with comfort and ease. He desperately wanted to know every detail about her and was ready to kiss every toe and every finger—at least back then. He was unbelievably romantic and knew all the right things to say, and somehow—somehow he had managed to pick up all of her pieces. They were taped in some placed but for the most part, she began to feel whole again. Now the man who’d shattered her had reentered her life, and the man who’d put her back together and was the stabilizing piece of it all wasn’t there. Honestly, she felt like pulling out her hair but instead she figured she’d go home, pet Luna, and lose herself in a documentary or something.

Before she was in the clear, though, Chris caught her by surprised. She stopped in her tracks and pivoted her leather booties to meet his gaze. She tried to stand up straighter and regain her composure, hoping he wouldn’t pity her. He was itching the back of his neck, an uncomfortable tell that she could catch a mile away. Undoubtedly, he had heard the conversation in the elevator, why else would he ask? Or maybe he really did just want some company? The conversation earlier reminded her that he didn’t really have a lot of personal friends in the area, even if he did have a large network. Colleagues and business relationships were far different than close friendships. She briefly went through her side of the conversation in the elevator and wondered if it was even obvious who or what she was talking to… Could have been her mom, right? Right… So it doesn’t have to be weird!
“Uh—I guess, uhm that would work. I think we should go over a couple things about the article anyway, and scheduling and stuff…” She realized she was rambling and cut herself off. She didn’t need to reassure him that she was alright and was [i just] doing this for work related purposes, it really didn’t matter either way. And a drink definitely sounded good. “I know of a place close by, it’s just up the road, Kate and I walk there a lot. It’s a Sports Bar,” she explained and slowly turned to start walking in that direction. She could only hope that it could stay amicable and she mentally noted that if at any point it seemed the conversation was derailing she’d bring up work—seemed like a foolproof plan, right?
Jenna Hansen / Seka / 11d ago
Chris promised Song-ho he would be visiting quite often, which didn’t seem like a hard promise to make considering their job wasn’t that far away. They boarded the bus on the other side of the street and started to head back to the office. Chris had no problem offering Jenna the seat available, gripping the bar tight while his free hand went through the pictures he took. The food looked amazing. Chris had a good eye, but when it came to angles of dumplings and the spiciest kimchi, he trusted Song-ho’s opinion. He also made sure to get some notes from him so he could change anything in post editing. He was excited, which wasn’t unusual, but this was a different kind of excitement. Shooting food and local sights had been something he considered he would do on his downtime. Chris was smore known for his model work, conceptual pieces and working in the music industry. Getting into this sort of work was refreshing for his career. He knew that Jenna had every reason to deny accepting him. Sure the decision was more than likely half hers and the others Kate’s, but she could’ve not been the bigger person and set him up as a complete disaster, someone not even worthy of working with them. For that, he was incredibly grateful.

His eyes locked on the image of her he had shot right before she had took a bite of her food. Her eyes were closed and though it didn’t look like it, he knew she was smelling the food which he found humorous. It was a shot he would’ve shown her, only to hold the camera out of her reach knowing she would try her hardest to delete it. It was all for show though and after a bit of tussling, his lips would fall upon hers and as more began to follow, they both became less and less interested in the camera. He could still remember the feeling of her then silver tresses against slipping between his fingers like the finest silk as he would draw her in closer.

The bus stopping had certainly pulled him from his memories and he cleared his throat then, turning his gaze from Jenna as though she could read his thoughts. He stepped back to allow her space to get out, instantly catching a flick of Jenna pink hair flowing, with her back turned to him. Something in him wanted to capture every bit of time with her, but he knew that was weird if not also a bad idea. That was a chapter long gone, a story that would never be finished unfortunately.

Once back in the office, they checked in with Kate who hugged her food close as though she didn’t expect to have another meal in years. Chris’ eyes landed on Jenna before turning to Kate.
“Yeah we got some good shots, Jenna got an interview with The owner. I mean, I’m sure it’s not perfect, but the bones are there.” He said with a small smile. He hadn’t expected Jenna to be bouncing off the walls in excitement, nor trailing him like some lost puppy, but he was a bit surprised to find she was trying her hardest to scurry away from them. At least it didn’t seem weird as Kate took it as an opportunity to show him to his office.

His cubicle, like the others had a window of glass which didn’t allow for much privacy, but Kate suggested if he needed it, especially considering his photo editing, she knew of a great place that did affordable work on black out shades. He figure after he checked out the setup worked, he would get back to her on that.

“Wow,” he said as he made his way to the window.
“I know right? This building has one of the best views of the city, I would like to think I’m really getting my money’s worth.”
“You definitely are,” Chris couldn’t help but agree.
“So, how was working with Jenna?” Kate asked, crossing her arms over her chest then. He turned toward her a bit dumbfounded. He hadn’t known if Kate knew anything about him and Jenna. He figured it would’ve been a smart business move not to mention it, but couldn’t imagine their engagement would be a secret for long. Still, it wasn’t his place to make that decision without Jenna which meant, eventually they were going to have to talk about what happened.

He shrugged a little, walking toward his desk and busying himself by powering up the computer.
“It was great. You know I’m so used to working alone. This is a bit different, but I’m liking the direction.”
“That’s so great to hear! You know I trust Jenna greatly. Without her, I don’t think Euphoria would have that . . .[I unf] that I need. I think her expression alone sold me when we reviewed your portfolio.” Chris couldn’t help but smile, a large one at that as he thought about how he still had some effect on her and why wouldn’t he? He loved her with all he had and she loved him with even more.
“Well, don’t let me keep you! We’ve got a deadline and I don’t want to hold you. Besides, that food is calling my name.” Kate bounced out of the office, closing the door behind him. Chris grabbed his bag and placed it on the desk and soon began his set up. Blackout shades would help or he could move his desk, but for now he was completely consumed with work.

So much so that he hadn’t noticed how late it was getting. He decided to call it a day, unplugging everything and fixing his bag up. He stretched out then, rubbing the back of his neck. Chris checked his messages, disappointed to find that Vanesa had plans. Plans with who? And why did he care? He wasn’t surprised to find most of the lights off and how quiet it was considering there wasn’t much staff. Chris did find it a bit odd Jenna hadn’t stopped by to say goodnight; did she owe him that though? It seemed, he didn’t have to really wonder as she was just rounding the corner while he was waiting for the doors to close. He placed his hands in between to stop them, smiling in her direction as she got in. He tapped his fingers along the support bar, whistling silently as though trying to figure out what to say.

He was just about to open his mouth when he heard her phone going off. Chris found it hard not to listen to the conversation, considering they were in such a close proximity to one another. That said, he didn’t really catch much, but by how deflated Jenna’s voice became throughout the conversation, he didn’t think it was pleasant. It seemed to fit how the elevator stopped with a thud. The doors took their time in opening which meant Chris was lucky enough to hear those three words he never thought Jenna would say to any other man. His grip had tightened on the bar, so much so he was sure his knuckles turned red with aggravation.

[I Let it go, let it go. It is what it is.] Chris told himself mentally, repeating the mantra form his teachings. What did he had to get so upset about? Jenna and him weren’t together. When the doors opened, he finally released his grip, his hands adjusting the strap of his camera bag as he was walking out of the lobby. He could see her reflection in the glass windows and while it wasn’t all the way clear, she looked a bit down and he hated to see her sad. How many times though had he been the one to make her feel that way he wondered? He paused then before looking over his shoulder, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Hey I don’t know about you but I am definitely starving.” Chris hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch and was so busy with work, he hadn’t even thought to step out and grab a snack. “Something greasy with a cold beer on the side sounds good. You uh, want to join?”
christopher / kshahidx / 12d ago
Song-ho was incredibly fascinating to Jenna; his family, their history, their culture. The fact that the story started from his grandparents coffeeshop in Korea nearly a century ago; how he had managed to migrate to the United States and why. His rise to success, and the struggle and discrimination he faced. The adversity he had overcome was nothing short of admirable, and the woman’s fingers typed relentlessly. It was interesting to her and was far more than she had ever hoped. She had talked to Kate about this long before and had discussed her anxiety regarding them choosing such a stereotypical theme. They desperately wanted to not be just an average travel magazine, but something more dynamic, with depth and personality, and unique, too.
Jenna mentally noted that Song-Ho and his restaurant may potentially be the front cover of the magazine and the highlight of the article. It was doubtful that the other two could hold a candle to the dynamic, charismatic man sitting across from her and after she shut her computer he thanked her for their magazine selecting his business as one of the chosen restaurants. He urged her to come back often, stating that he would gladly provide a meal for her here-and-there at no cost and Jenna beamed back. His cheeks were rosy but the sweat had long dried. He had taken his apron off and surprised her by the formal, professionally dressed owner beneath the kitchen that blanketed him when they’d first arrived.

Chris met Jenna as he was exiting the back, assuming he’d finished his photography side of things. Song-Ho gave them a last wave after offering them a free to-go meal that she had inquired about for Kate. She couldn’t forget the ravenous woman, she’d never let her hear the end of it. They returned the way they had come, filing into the bus emptier than it had been when they had arrived. This time Jenna found a seat at the edge toward the front and held her bag close to her side, already imagining how she would summarize the interview and the restaurant, and note what she wanted highlighted in the main article. Jenna looked over and caught Chris’ camera in her peripheral vision, and had the strange urge to steal it. He had caught a photo of her earlier, something that vividly reminded her of their days in Seattle. He had a knack for doing it, just like the day at the park when he took the photo that she had seen in his portfolio. She pushed away the thought though, and left the bus with Chris in tow.

When they returned to the office and rounded off the elevator area into the hallway, Kate saw them from her office at the back. She had one of the only ones encompassed in glass and she looked giddy as she walked out and strode toward us. Kate’s hands grabbed the extended box Jenna carried and then she held it close to her like it was fragile or could be taken at any moment. She was a strange one but Jenna loved her more for it.
“How’d it go?”
“I think it went well,” Jenna spoke softly and peeked over at Chris. Kate nodded and stepped toward Chris.

“Let’s get you to your office,” she guided him and Jenna turned away to head to her office situated near Kate’s. She took her seat and looked out over the rows of low cubicles, her office also encased in glass, where she could easily still see heads popping up over the partitions. She tore her eyes away from Kate and Chris, her heart finally slowing after the past few tense hours. No, it was time for a thorough distraction. Her only relief was the thought that she maybe wouldn’t have to work closely with him again for a couple of days, although she figured there’d be an editing day and they did have yet to discuss when that would take place. She sighed heavily and open her computer to drowned herself in her work for the last hour or so of the shift.

Finally, she decided to call it a night after her eyes began to feel heavy and painful. She closed the laptop and slid it into her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and heading out of the building. Anxiety prickled her still, her stomach still rolling, continuing to grapple with the fact that she needed to find some way to forget it all. But yet, behind some of the uneasiness and shock, there was a brooding resentment that was becoming more and more apparent. Jenna didn’t know why but many painful emotions started to well inside her. They had all day but still the stupor of seeing him had negated the pain and now it was roaring back to her. There still seemed to be remnants of the broken heart she’d experienced deep within her bones and she was rattled.

It didn’t help that as she rounded the corner to the elevator, Chris was waiting, too, and she nearly stopped and turned around. Instead she finessed with her sweater and repositioned her bag on her shoulder to muster up the strength to approach him. She wasn’t sure how to greet someone in this scenario, so she opted not to. She stopped beside him and flashed him an awkward smile in greeting instead, but suddenly she heard a ringing in her purse. Her hands worked tirelessly in her bag to find her phone and when she did she stumbled to answer it, finally holding it to her ear awkwardly as she also held her bag open.
“Hey babe,” Levi said into the phone.
“Hey,” she responded, slightly out of breath from the commotion of answering the phone. The elevator dinged then and Chris and Jenna entered the elevator.
“How’s you day been?”
“Oh, it’s been good, I guess. I got a really cool interview so I’m pretty excited!” Her voice was elevated and excited. She was bent over and finally managed to maneuver the phone between her ear and shoulder so she could free her hands and readjust the bag.
“Nice job, babe!”

“Thanks!” She paused for a moment and took a breath, “So.. Uhm…” She wanted to ask about the weekend but it felt strange to bring it up; she missed him and wanted him here but knew his work came with some obstacles. Jenna had been willing to do it to support him, something she’d learned from her previous fiancé who happened to be standing beside her. She heard Levi make a strange sound, almost like a deep sigh and Jenna’s heart lurched.
“So, yeah, I’m sorry babe but we booked a show last minute and I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it back this weekend,” he explained and Jenna held back the tears that threatened to break from her desolate azure eyes.
“Yeah, no, I mean I get it, that’s great!” She tried to sound supportive and enthusiastic, lacing her defeated words with fake saccharine. “I guess, uh, I guess I will see you next weekend, right?”
“Of course, I’ll try to call you later tomorrow,” he tried to make up for his previous bad news but Jenna had learned not to rely on his promises.
[i “Promise?”] I asked in a whisper, turning my head slightly away from Chris for some semblance of privacy.
“Course. Love you, babe.”
“Love you t—,” she heard the call drop and realized he had hung up. She pulled the phone away shakily and slid the phone back into her purse before flashing Chris another awkward smile. [i Well, that was awkward. ]
Jenna Hansen / Seka / 12d ago
There was something off about Jenna’s response. He was trying hard not to read too much into it, but figured that any woman who was getting married would have much more enthusiasm when it came to the topic of their wedding. Had their engagement made her a bit more guarded? Chris himself had become opposed to the idea of getting married. While he was sure his opinion would eventually change, the thought of being vulnerable with someone again was terrifying. He knew Jenna well enough too to know when she wanted to talk about something or not and Chris made note maybe to not bring up the subject of her and her [I fiancé] or speak on it unless she brought it up. Though, he doubted Jenna was comfortable enough to do so. He rolled his tongue in his mouth, sighing out as though convincing himself to let the situation go. Instead, he reached for his camera, taking a perfect picture of Jenna as she took another bite. He couldn’t help but smirk, knowing she would want to get a good look at it.

“Well, if I know Song-Ho, I know that he’s back there already recreating these dishes.” Knowing that he would be featured in a magazine, they probably got the [I ugly] dish as he would put it. the food all tasted the same, but Chris figured Song-ho was playing around with different plating options that would make for a much cleaner and great shot. Besides, he needed to get some pictures of the cooks and a personal shot of Song-ho in front of the restaurant.

“I’m sure you can sit him down for an interview while its quiet. I’ll get some interior and exterior shots.” Chris took a couple of pictures of their meal, figuring it would have to be shown that they had actually tried the food. “That can wait though. I’m starving,” Chris said. He poured himself another drink, placing the camera to the side before downing it. As expected it was spicy, and he was glad that he had opted to take off the jacket. The liquor also warmed him up, but it eased him and he could feel the tension with Jenna as more background noise. They could focus on work now and it seemed that was for the best.

Song-ho had come by to check on them, visibly sweating which he knew meant he had been working quite hard in the kitchen. The restaurant was starting to fill up though, and he figured they could work in a quick interview and always come back if Jenna didn’t get everything she needed. Chris preoccupied himself with getting some pictures. Around an hour later, he was coming from the back of the kitchen, the lunch rush dying down. He was all set and went to check on Jenna and see if she was ready to head out.
christopher / kshahidx / 14d ago
Jenna sipped more on her water as she listened to Chris explain his [i friend.] Something told her there was more to it than the simplifying Chris was doing but She had no right to press. She was holding the glass between both her hands as she typically did to avoid spilling and tried to maintain eye-contact but it was jarring and she frequently darted her eyes away only to come back to meet that piercing gaze that once upon a time could melt her to her very core. Mornings where they laid just staring into each others souls; how cliché yet everything about them before could have been chalked up to a fairytale until the morning she woke up and he was gone.

She remembered that day was painful for her; waiting for his return even with the impending feeling of doom. Her intuition told her that he was gone for good but she held on to hope… for days that turned into weeks that turned into months… But he never came. She remembered talking to Delia who she knew was still in contact with Chris. It was heart-wrenching for her to not dig for answers; Delia was smart, though, and Jenna always got the feeling that Delia was laying it on soft and keeping out vital information to protect Jenna’s feelings. She secretly had hated the woman for it but as time passed she came to appreciate the tight-lipped Delia. The beautiful model was her biggest support and was part of the reason Jenna took the job in San Francisco. She was always so abhorrent that Jenna leave some day; ‘you need to learn that the world is bigger than your four walls’ she’d advise.
“A model?” She asked rhetorically but tried to feign happy support when in reality it was jealousy that prickled her, “[i Wow…]” It really shouldn’t have been surprising at all, Delia was a model, too, and they were best friends. As a photographer—and a handsome one at that—Chris had in’s everywhere and if he was anything close to the way was before she was sure he could charm the pants off of anyone. She used to wonder why he was with her, plain, shy and simple. So why did it peeve her so much? She squeezed the glass tight and tried to bob her head and seemed genuinely interested but if she could have reached across the table and manually zip his lips she would have. [i She’s so greaaat, she’s a model,] her inner voice mocked and she refrained from letting this show on her pale profile.

The food arriving was a welcomed reprieve from the conversation and she leaned back to give the waitress extra room to place the steaming plate. She stared down at it inspecting the dish and slowly leaned in to sniff it. She wondered if Chris wanted to take a photograph of the food before they ate but maybe with his relationship with Song-Ho he’d be able to go to the back and take pictures of more eloquent and special dishes. She trusted Chris knew what he was doing. She took a hesitant first bite and the burst of flavors filled her senses, [i “mmmm.]”

His question caught her off guard and she swallowed her bite gingerly to give her extra time to think of her response. She didn’t want to unload on Chris; partially because that would be mucho [i awkward] and also because Jenna was still grappling with it herself. She hadn’t told anyone the true extent of her confusion.
“I’m sure she [i will] be,” Jenna responded curtly. She didn’t want to go into detail about the fact that she hadn’t even [i began] to plan the wedding and it was honestly a far-off thought. It’s not like Levi truly noticed, he’d hardly pressed her about it. In fact she thought there was a chance he was satisfied with the prolonged engagement. It irritated her—and it hurt, too. “Uh, I’m not sure… Probably this weekend,” Jenna answered and took another bite of her food. She hadn’t seen him in a couple of weeks and she painfully awaited his arrival but learned to not hold her breath. “He may get held back, though, so it’s hard to say.” She had half-a-mind to invite him out but thought maybe that was be weird for them all, then again when he noted that Vanessa was his only close friend here she felt a pang of guilt. Maybe that’d be an offer but she found that this moment didn’t seem appropriate.
“So what’s the plan? Do you think you can maybe get me an interview with your friend and while I’m doing that you can take some photographs? Or how do you normally like to do things now?”
Jenna Hansen / Seka / 13d ago
“That doesn’t get old,” Chris said in between giggles, Chris bushing over the small wooden box which held napkins toward Jenna just as she was reaching for one of the paper squares. She had never been that much of a drinker and he was glad to see that had changed. Honestly, he had gone on a bit of a binge when he and Jenna had broken up, but had slowed down quite a bit. The tale that Song-ho referred to had been during one of his craziest times, but what was life without a little bit of craziness sprinkled in it? it was his turn to look at Jenna in shock then.

“Maybe I’ve heard of them?” He asked in shock, a smile befalling his lips and he admittedly did a good job of hiding that slight pringle of jealousy at knowing that Jenna was dating someone who was on his way to being a rockstar. It was a well-known band, one that he had seen in San Francisco in fact at Outside Lands. He couldn’t help but drop his eyes, ashamed almost that he hadn’t recognized Jenna in the crowd. More so, that he hadn’t thought enough of her to search for her in a band miles away from their home town. Had they been dating then? He started to count back in his mind; when did he propose? Surely before leaving on tour.

He poured himself another drink then, removing the jacket and ushing up the sleeves of his shirt to aid in the warmth that was beginning to spread and not all of it had to do with the alcohol. He reached for his small glass and took another drink. He could already feel that slow buzz and thankfully it came on quick with his empty stomach. He would need [I something] to help him get through this situation: a discussion he had brought upon himself.

Now he had to sit here and endure Jenna going on about how [I nice] and [I funny] the front man was. What was he supposed to say or do? Nod in agreement at knowing that Jenna’s fiancé had a real chance of beating him in the coolness spectrum, as adolescent as that sounded.
“Well I’m sure he’s missing you quite a bit.” He rolled the words in his mouth before saying them, forcing himself to bite back [I as much as I did]. While he had belief that Jenna suspected him leaving was as easy as jumping on a plane, there was a big part of him itching to turn back immediately when he landed in LA. He had plenty of time to think on his flight about their fight and his conversation with Delia.

[center [b [size22 _______________]]]

[I “Oh c’mon Delia. You know that’s not true. I love Jenna. I do. What I’m doing isn’t just for me . . . entirely. You know I want to give her everything, I didn’t propose just because.”
“No, you proposed because I told you that you couldn’t continue dillydallying with a great friend of mine. I knew you and Jenna were a match made in heaven. You talked about he nonstop the first month you two were dating. You moved in with her for God’s sake. I figured a nudge toward your less than commitment ways would show you that you could have a successful relationship and a career at the same time. If Jenna means so much to you, why can’t you hold off on this for a year? Or a few months? Los Angeles will always be there Chris, but I think you need to get it out of your head that the Jenna you know now is the Jenna you will know tomorrow or next month.”]

[center [b [size22 _______________]]]

He put on a brave face that first week, but when he hadn’t heard word from Jenna he suspected maybe she was through with him. And some . . . cocky part of him had hopes that maybe she would show up at his door and they could try again. But that was the stupid belief of someone who had walked out on his fiancé without so much as a goodbye. He’d burned that bridge with Jenna the minute he left their apartment. Now he stared across from her, playing with her ring finger leaving him to ponder over a bunch of what ifs, he hadn’t thought of since their split.

“Oh yeah Vanessa, she’s great. We actually caught up yesterday. She’s usually travelling so it was nice to know I wouldn’t be here completely alone.” He pursed his lips, wondering if she knew that had inquired that his desire for intimacy had certainly increased over the years. He wasn’t necessarily bored of hooking up, but he did miss those small moments of intimacy that only two close people could share. It would get a bit tiring having to explain a show to some girl that he had watched a million times with Jenna, or expecting Emily or Rachel to know that he preferred Jenna’s lazily drawn circles against his bare chest after sex compared to watching as one of his lovers would immediately get out of bed, heading toward the shower to wash away his scent. “She’s a model actually, just returned back not too long ago, so I’m hoping in between our work maybe we can catch up a bit more.”

He hadn’t thought of Vanessa that way and really didn’t. honestly, he was sure the idea of a relationship between the both of them was over the minute she ground that Chris, no matter how fun and charismatic he was, was still a bit guarded with his heart after losing Jenna. Well – giving up what they had at least. Mentioning that Vanessa was a model was a bit of a slip of the tongue honestly, though he knew he was trying to one up her current situation with Levi. “But I will admit I am certainly looking forward to these spots we’ll be checking out.” Spending time with Jenn was scary but also exciting honestly. He wanted it to be true that she hadn’t changed, but he was attracted to the possibility of her surprising him. He shifted then, realizing that his mind was wandering in other places.

What else was new with her and what did Levi have to do with it? song-ho soon returned with Amy with their steaming dishes, the smell of spice in the air. Spicy, as he liked it. He hadn’t thought to bring that up, but figured it would be fun to see Jenna’s expression.
“I haven’t had his kimchi pasta, but I know it’s got to be good. You’ll love everything here.” He said almost matter of factly, but she still trusted him enough to order for them; he couldn’t be that far off the mark. Eating made things easier, less room for awkward pauses and enough time to think of what to say next.

“So, m sure you still talk to Delia. She invited to the wedding?” Liquor was making him a bit more loose with his words but Chris was intent on not turning this into an intense situation. Though would they be able to work together without confronting the obvious elephant in the room? “When’s Levi come back anyways? Figure out schedule might be a bit tight then.” Saying her fiancé’s name now sounded strange. He didn’t think that he and Jenna would be spending all their time together, but now it seemed obvious and Delia’s words seemed to continue to ring true. Jenna wasn’t [I his] Jenna anymore, and while he wanted to get to know the new her, it was hard moving on from the memories they had.
christopher / kshahidx / 15d ago