[center [+purple I wish everyday I could be calm. I wish I didn’t always have to revert back to thinking I have to be careful. I’m constantly worrying over everything. Wondering if I put to much trust out there. I sound like a broken record. It is what I worry about the most though. I know I said before that I was more than willing to get burned, but as time has passed I realized more and more than I am terrified that’s what’s going to happen now.
Some days I’m able to ignore the feelings I have and just get on with the day, but I noticed as time is going on... I’m slowly getting worse it seems. Certain things torment me now when I think about it too long. I can’t seem to straighten myself out. I just want a clear mind that’s all.
I took so long telling you today because I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of having to deal with my own mind attacking me. Breaking me down. I thought as time passed it would get better, but I realize that it just increases how much it would hurt to lose you.
I deserve this i suppose. I cared very little for a lot of people in my life. There’s much more I could say, but I won’t.
On an off note I’m still depressed I lost my scorpion in ark... I only had him for a few hours...]]