How2do make friends +WatchReplies: 84 / 7 years ago
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Share your own tips in comments and I will post them here with credit
[h3 How to Connect]
Talk about things your passionate about. Your dreams and plan of action. Defining points of your past that make you you.
Get people talking about things they're passionate about or things that make them feel at their best. Encourage them to better themselves when they're motivated. Engage them with fun and interesting things you really like when they are bored or want to relax.
Be socially assertive. Ask people how things are going. Keep up with their goals, life events and state. It shows you care. The longer you keep up with people the more you'll feel connected with them, and the more they know you care.
If someone seems down on their luck offer them a listening ear. When they do, don't be judgmental and listen more than talk. Don't try to fix their problems or persuade them to feel better. Do not give them things to make them feel better or change the topic to something you think might that might cheer them up. Don't tell them it could be worse or to count blessings. How do they feel and why do they feel that way? Share stories of things that could relate.
Talk about yourself without fear of judgement or fear of being disliked. If you fear judgement you will come off worse. Accept that as a fact. Be honest. If you think something they said is offensive or bad, speak up. You'll be respected for it. If you don't know something, don't be afraid to ask. Never lie in order to blend in. Never accept being mistreated or constant disrespect.
[h3 Bad Ways to connect]
Meme spam. Spamming cool and random popular culture references as a means to be quirky and interesting. LOLSORANDOM. Ok, ok, this is maybe not bad. This is creative and funny sometimes, but don't over do it or exclusively be this way ALLTHETIME.
Don't connect by common enemy. If you dislike someone don't get together with someone else to talk about that other person however scandalous their actions may be or how disagreeable their personality is. It may be fun to talk about someone but someone who talks badly of others may in turn talk badly of you in a moment of vulnerability. Nobody is perfect and we've all made mistakes in the past. We've all made a bad impression at one point or another or have been oblivious to something obviously mistaken. Don't punish people forever or turn them into memes. Be respectful of everyone and you'll be seen as someone people can trust.
Don't connect by stories describing yourself as a victim.
Don't connect by being a fan of something. While this is a nice bond to have in common, it's better to connect by something you ARE or DO.
Forgive people. Don't be passive aggressive every time you talk to someone you had a falling out with. Be the better person and move on.
Don't blame other people for your current unhappiness or current bad situation. Ever.
Don't constantly talk about yourself or things you're doing without engaging the other person. Be socially assertive. "Well if they want to say something they should just say it, like I do". No. Engage the other person. Ask them questions you're genuinely curious about.
Don't connect by how loser or dumb: sheeple, other groups, other people are. Don't connect by common complaining or misery. Everyone thinks this way [pic http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sheeple.png]
[h3 Avoiding Getting Teased]
[p Don't be defensive and whiny. If you complain often, are very sensitive, or generally just take life too seriously, people without much to do that get a thrill out of eliciting emotional responses will target you. The internet is not going to run out of bullies and neither is real life. Be confident, passionate and secure enough ignore it when some naysayer says something you know to be not true or that may offend you. This will avoid 99% of teasing. Make the bully feel like they're talking to an automated voice recording system or a brick wall. YOU ARE A BRICK WALL. YOU ARE THE ALPHA. YOU ARE THE OMEGA. YOUARETHECHUPACABRABETHECHUPACABRAThe easiest way to make a bully feel bad is by not giving an emotional reaction, not even a passive aggressive response. THIS IS THE ONLY CORRECT ACTION. EVER. SERIOUSLY.]
[h1 SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOU AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU SHOULD NOT CARE. THIS IS HOW LIFE WORKS]
[h1 YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE]
[h1 DEALING WITH SOMEONE YOU DON'T LIKE IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE. THERE'S A WIDE VARIETY OF CHARACTERS IN THIS LIFE. SOME PEOPLE ARE PARTICULARLY ABRASIVE OR CHALLENGING TO DEAL WITH BUT THEY NEED MORE LOVE THAN ANYONE ELSE. GIVE EVERYONE RESPECT AT THE LEAST]
[h1 DON'T HATE PEOPLE-IN-GENERAL FOR DOING THE SHIT PEOPLE DO.]
[h1 NEVER GIVE EXPECTING SOMETHING IN RETURN]
[h1 DON'T BE JEL. YOU JEL.]
[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/3304496/Be-lucky-its-an-easy-skill-to-learn.html Be lucky. It's easy to learn. Don't discount your opportunities].
[quote “Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes'.”
[http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/finding-your-voice/201112/conan-obrien-and-the-perils-cynicism Don't be cynical]
[h3 Contributions by other users]
A good way to make friends is to contribute. Ever since the days of old, trade was always give-and-take, and socializing works in a similar way. --Omio
All joking aside, try and leave the people, places, and things around you better than when you found them. It could be anything. From a small complement to a beautiful work of art, what you say and do can and will change lives. Be a good person, for Christ's sake. Being involved in this site has many benefits, and making friends is among them. Writing with different people will help you find those who have similar interests and are good friend-material. Also, try and have some fun. Fun always helps. -- Caleb1021
ES is not a substitute for real life interaction. Take lots of drugs. Fight people. FUCK AMERICA. DROWN IN THE BLOOD OF YOUR SAVIOUR, HERITAGE LIBERATOR. FEAST ON THE WOUNDS OF THOSE WHO RESENT YOUR EXISTENCE. THERE ARE FORCES WITHIN YOU THAT NO BULLET CAN. PENETRATE. FORCE THEM TO SURFACE AND CONSUME -- / OBLIVIOUS TRANSGENDER / K
Girls on ES... please... oh god please... do not hand out pictures of yourself to men over the internet. Whether they are your ES boyfriend or real boyfriend who some man you really love or trust... or just a complete stranger... do not give them a picture of yourself. I'm getting really sick and tired of banning assholes who keep threatening girls with the picture that they sent them to do other things when the girls finally realize they need to say "NO!" Be smart. Don't trust guys over the internet. Except K. -- Yue
Ahem, to those of ES. Don't be an attention whore. Seriously. That. Shit. Is. Annoying. -- Nymphomaniac
Here's a thought... don't go yapping about yourself all the time. Lend an ear out to someone, and let them lend an ear out to you. Find someone willing to listen to all your complaints and then when they finally need an ear... listen to them. Don't make fun of them or call them out on how stupid they are. Be there for them. Don't be the selfish bitch that won't be there for them when they need someone while they were always there for you.Be smart. [br] Actually TRY being a friend. -- Yue
If you want to add or disagree with something post it in the comments.