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✯The Ruins of Midgar✯

By _BlueXephos

Replies: 8 / 261 days ago

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Allowed Users

Just a place to think.

Leave me be.


You don't have permission to post in this thread.

I love you. So much. <3

I'm too scared to say it to you yet. I fear it's too soon.

But I know I love you.
Xephy / _BlueXephos / 237d ago
Gotta save this old layout!!

(picl http://i.imgur.com/vPdw8Ir.jpg?1)
(pic http://orig14.deviantart.net/6f62/f/2013/038/6/d/yogscast_fan_game_lewis_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m02.gif) (b Name:) Xephy
(pic http://orig02.deviantart.net/94f6/f/2013/038/8/8/yogscast_fan_game_duncan_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m2e.gif) (b Age:) 26
(pic http://orig14.deviantart.net/6f62/f/2013/038/6/d/yogscast_fan_game_lewis_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m02.gif) (b Gender:) Whatever
(pic http://orig02.deviantart.net/94f6/f/2013/038/8/8/yogscast_fan_game_duncan_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m2e.gif) (b Marital Status:) Thoroughly invested via the heart.
(pic http://orig14.deviantart.net/6f62/f/2013/038/6/d/yogscast_fan_game_lewis_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m02.gif) (b Currently:) Lurking/writing
(pic http://orig02.deviantart.net/94f6/f/2013/038/8/8/yogscast_fan_game_duncan_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m2e.gif) (b Status:) I'm an alien and better than you.
(pic http://orig14.deviantart.net/6f62/f/2013/038/6/d/yogscast_fan_game_lewis_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m02.gif) (b Notes:) I'll probably RP with you. Message me.
(pic http://orig02.deviantart.net/94f6/f/2013/038/8/8/yogscast_fan_game_duncan_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m2e.gif) (b More Notes:) I most likely won't like you at first. I'm not inherently mean, but me being polite does not mean I'm your friend. Try to get to know me first, and I will return the favor.

(pic http://orig14.deviantart.net/6f62/f/2013/038/6/d/yogscast_fan_game_lewis_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m02.gif) (b Disclaimer:) Only some of the artwork/gifs on this profile are mine. Otherwise, they are property of the respective owners, and I am borrowing them because they're cool. Please do not steal the artwork and try to claim it as your own.
(pic http://orig02.deviantart.net/94f6/f/2013/038/8/8/yogscast_fan_game_duncan_loading_by_torahoko-d5u3m2e.gif) (b One Last Note:) Do not PM me about anything I write in my journals/Journal Entries unless I've stated that its okay in the entry. This is your only warning. Any breach of privacy after reading this warning WILL earn you a block.

(b Contact Info)
(https://www.facebook.com/xephos.loves.coffee (pic http://i.picresize.com/images/2016/07/10/dKcYo.png)) (https://twitter.com/Commander_Xephy (pic http://i.picresize.com/images/2016/07/10/Fcqk4.png))
Kik: Commander_Xephy
Skype: the-arctic-beatles
Xephy / _BlueXephos / 243d ago
COVID-19 was apparently planned.

I'd love to hear them say that to my lovely nurse friend who's sister is deathly ill with it.

I'd pay to see her reaction.
Xephy / _BlueXephos / 254d ago
Working in healthcare is both a fucking blessing and an existential nightmare.

Like, I have the people grateful that we exist, and then the people who think we're evil devil creatures.

Sorry we won't refill your Oxycodone because you refuse to make an appointment, Robert. That doesn't make me Satan.

Or maybe it does. Idk.
Xephy / _BlueXephos / 257d ago
Good lord, people can be stupid.

Really stupid.

I truly am blessed that I learned how to think for myself.

Fuck's sake.
Xephy / _BlueXephos / 259d ago
I'm grateful for my friends, I truly am.

They've never made me choose between anyone, even if they're not getting along anymore. And that's how it should be.

Meanwhile, here I am giggling like an idiot because I don't sleep a lot LMAO.

Oh shit, here we go again.
Xephy / _BlueXephos / 261d ago
Existing is difficult, but not nearly as much as it used to be.

It used to be long, sleepless nights. Dry tear-tracks on my cheeks, soon to be followed by fresh ones. Red, tired eyes. Lifeless laughter. Meaningless words.

But it's gotten better. A lot better.

I'd like to say it's all because of perseverance, but it's also been my friends and the medication Christine talked me into.

I take 225mg of Venlafaxine for recurring major depressive disorder, OCD, and anxiety, and 150mg of Hydroxyzine as a supplement for the anxiety. It's not perfect, but it's helpful. Very helpful.

Jeff is an absolute charm. He's so sweet. He tells me what I need to do to be better, but he never tells me I'm doing a bad job. He understands that I have bad days, and never holds them against me. It's wonderful. He's incredibly supportive of my journey to better myself. He deserves the best [i me] I can be. I deserve the best me I can be.

I'm a work in progress. I know this. I will be for probably the rest of my life.

But I'm better.

And I'll always be proud of that.
Xephy / _BlueXephos / 261d ago