Existing is difficult, but not nearly as much as it used to be.
It used to be long, sleepless nights. Dry tear-tracks on my cheeks, soon to be followed by fresh ones. Red, tired eyes. Lifeless laughter. Meaningless words.
But it's gotten better. A lot better.
I'd like to say it's all because of perseverance, but it's also been my friends and the medication Christine talked me into.
I take 225mg of Venlafaxine for recurring major depressive disorder, OCD, and anxiety, and 150mg of Hydroxyzine as a supplement for the anxiety. It's not perfect, but it's helpful. Very helpful.
Jeff is an absolute charm. He's so sweet. He tells me what I need to do to be better, but he never tells me I'm doing a bad job. He understands that I have bad days, and never holds them against me. It's wonderful. He's incredibly supportive of my journey to better myself. He deserves the best [i me] I can be. I deserve the best me I can be.
I'm a work in progress. I know this. I will be for probably the rest of my life.
But I'm better.
And I'll always be proud of that.