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[✧ I n t r o s p e c t i o n ]

By STARISH

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Replies: 33 / 5 years ago

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j o u r n a l]

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[font "Times" [i I'm no
James Dean
Heartthrob
Daydream

Bad hair
Black jeans
Not cool
Suits me

Girls won't
Date me
Guys all
Hate me

Guess that
Must mean
I'm no
James Dean

{20/02/2020}
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[font "Times" [i Here's my confession
I've got a death wish

---------------------------------------

I've been running wild
Had a good time
But I can't stop now

Oh my dear Lord

Over my head in the landslide
Can you pull me out?

Oh my dear Lord

{20/02/2020}
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[font "Times" [i I can't tell if this is hell or if I'm just bored

You said let's settle down... Sounds like a downfall.

I wish you'd fuck somebody
Steal my money
Break my heart, say you never ever ever ever ever ever loved me
Could I be so lucky?

Let me off the hook.
I really wish you would.

{19/02/2020}
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[font "Times" DREAM LOG {11/2/2020}:

[i There was a little girl making our lives miserable. She was so dependant on everyone for absolutely everything but she was clinging especially to Jack. She started being cruel and sadistic to everyone but him, and when he finally said no to her, she pushed him off of a ledge, where he plunged to his death, head impaled on a construction spike. I woke up bawling my eyes out.]]
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[font "Times" [i I don't know. I just don't know. Something is on my mind but I'm having trouble sussing it out. I'm tired. Every time I make a connection it seems to fizzle out very fast but this one has lingered. The optimist says it will always be the same, my heart will always be yours, but I just.

I don't know.

{11/02/2020}
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[font "Times" [i I don't know what I've done to fall out of your favor, but I hope that whatever is on your mind, you're able to work through it by [i talking] to the person you've suddenly taken issue with. I am, quite frankly, a bit upset. I was looking forward to writing with you, and I was enjoying speaking with you.

That being said, I shan't pester you to continue speaking with me. I leave you with a suggestion for the future;
At least say goodbye next time.

Cordially,
J]]
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[font "Times" I'm about to break down
Searching for a way out


I break down, falling into love now with falling apart
I'm a popular monster]]
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {06/02/2020}:

I got lost in Manila, couldn't find my mom. She didn't care much but I melt trying to help her. When I got back I went to school and she shakes me off and shows her trip pictures like I just am supposed to take it. I made curry and run away with my friends and bake a peanut butter jelly cake.

JOURNAL:

I haven't been able to remember my dreams well enough to log them recently, so that has kind of sucked. Working is still going good. I find myself actively looking forward to going, which is something I'm not used to but something I quite like. I think I'm getting sick, though. I woke up congested.

CARD OF THE DAY:
[i xxxx]]
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {03/02/2020}:

Full of disturbing imagery, such as my niece picking at her legs which had become infected from her doing so, and children who had been starved and dehydrated to the point of becoming monstrous and terrifying. Though toward the end I was walking around a neighborhood that I've never seen and was on a call with Jackaboy, looking at how much furniture people had thrown away.

JOURNAL:

Yesterday was a difficult day between the nightmare and splitting my boot on the way to work. I cried several times. RIP shit kickers.

CARD OF THE DAY:
[i xxxx]]
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {01/02/2020}:

I didn't dream...

JOURNAL:

I didn't dream, which admittedly weirds me out.
I do not write this without any kind of seriousness behind the feelings but
I think I like someone.

Work was good today. Practical training was good. I like working with the customers and I'm a fast learner.

CARD OF THE DAY:
[i ---]]
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {31/01/2020}:

I was looking for a specific funk pop in stores (I don't collect them??) She when they didn't have it, I was upset. As a consolation we went to look at chocolate and the store was farther away than normal.

JOURNAL:

I feel weird not going in to work today. Last night was one hell of a night though so I'm thankful for the rest. It always hurts cutting people off but maybe I needed to.

CARD OF THE DAY:
[i --- ]]
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {30/01/2020}:

Watching TV with my mother, and she could not find a single thing to out on. It was getting late, this must have been about a decade back now because my brother was still very young. We gathered in the kitchen as Maritimers do and talked with my aunt and uncle's, and apparently Tanner's shower was broken because mom bought him a "one bag at a time" camp shower.

JOURNAL:

Work was fun today. I made a lot of friends and showed up 3 fucking hours early for my shift. I like making people happy, so I made curry and cupcakes and everyone was happy so... Goal achieved.

CARD OF THE DAY:
[i --- ]]
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {29/01/2020}:

I was at my mother's for a visit and we spent the day out with grammy. Mom gave me a picture of me and grammy out on a boat on the water and then when we got home I had a very large chocolate chip cookie while I was cleaning the kitchen.

v2 my phone decided to curl up, split open and the battery leaked. Plus Greco never delivered our pizza.

JOURNAL:

I start work today! I'm so excited.

CARD OF THE DAY:
[i ---]]
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[font "Times New Roman" [size12 DREAM LOG {28/01/2020}:

I was in China for some reason, and ended up playing piano at the train station I was stuck at.

v2. I was staying with Donna and Braxton again, and was out late with a friend. They were quite upset, and I was not allowed to use the bathroom.

JOURNAL:

I seem to have had weirder dreams than normal, and it's harder to ever them lately.
I switched up my profile, but it's a lesser version of what I wanted. ES needs to switch to v3 for profiles already.

CARD OF THE DAY:
[i Knight of Swords - REVERSED: Impatience, Impulsiveness, Disorganization ]]

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